A virtual baby shower was held for Rebecca of Girl's Gone Child
and Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored over the weekend. I totally missed the deadline for this but I love Rebecca &
Kristen dearly, both being some of the first bloggers I read and having the privilege to meet them in person more than once. To celebrate the upcoming births, the shower hosts asked for stories reminiscing about those bygone first baby days.
There is nothing like watching a sleeping baby or cuddling them or their smell. However, the thing I remember, the thing I miss... is how grounded you feel with a newborn, as if the weight of the baby in your arms connects you to the earth more firmly than you've ever been before. Straight to the core. Everything is heavy and warm, yet even at the darkest time of night there seemed to be light coming off this child and it fills you. Somehow it fills you, this light and heaviness and warmth, being blanketed in baby until it's something that's a part of you. A part that, no matter how sweaty or hot you actually get, you never want to take off. Knowing that blanket will get lighter and lighter as your child grows up makes you appreciate that ground-ness more deeply. You know every inch of your body and you know every inch of your child's body and it's simply an extension, his skin is your skin. Everything that you've ever felt, your child will feel as well.
The schedule was constantly changing, I was tired and it was hard work in those early days, and yet I lived more in the moment than I ever had in my life. I've heard it said that when a child is born, for the mother the whole world narrows to just mother and child. But I didn't feel that way. I felt like we were a mother and a child in the world. Finally, in the world. As big as it was, together.
With love, wg