Inevitably the Fingers Itch
April 26, 2021
I got my covid vaccine last week! Yay! Shot number 1. I had more of a reaction than I expected. I developed chills about four hours after the shot and felt a little "off". Then the next day I felt great! Then the day after that, I had chills, fatigue, and a massive headache that lasted a couple of days. So worth it though. I have no regrets. Hopefully, that reaction is only with the first shot, but just in case, I’ll keep my schedule free the week of shot number 2. Because even though this reaction only lasted 2-3 days, I admit, I shlumped into the slug life for the rest of the week.
It’s so easy to slide into slugville. What’s not to like about lying around on the couch, binge watching TV, reading, and taking long, leisurely naps? I mean, besides the sense of impending crushing boredom, vague guilt, and tender couch booty (not quite bedsores, but not nothing either). But oh! So relaxed! So nourishing! While I’m in it, I think, “I’ll stay here. I’ll leave all ambition behind me. I’ll stop reaching for the stars. I’ll keep active enough to avoid a heart attack and keep the house clean. I’ll spend time with my family and friends and read books. Who needs the frustration anyway, right? This is so much easier.” It’s so easy to slide into relaxed mode, part of me starts to wonder if maybe that’s what I’m supposed to be doing. Stop fooling around with writing and art! Spend your energy on the simple things... live your life!
Eventually, my fingers will itch. They’ll want to pick up a pen or type just to hear the clicks. Eventually, images will play out in my head. Lines will follow, then a scene, then story ideas. If not words, then it will be colors, and I’ll fiddle with this art project or another. I’m a dabbler, but I’m a consistent dabbler. Eventually, I will write something or make something or recreate a DIY project with my own twist, adorned with color and words. If I don’t my fingers will itch, no matter how good the couch feels. No matter how much I enjoy spending time with family and friends. It’s kind of been happening my whole life. Is it dabbling if it’s been going on for decades?
Maybe it means I’m not dabbling at all. It’s just a different kind of life.