The Slug Life
Summer in Pandemic

Bow Before My Flashing Spoons

My family does not appreciate my prowess for organizing dishware. Now I know I've said on this blog many times that I am NOT a domestic queen... I'm not very good at cooking, laundry is a chore, I especially don't like to clean (and yet I seem to be doing the majority of it every damn day!!). I'm just not into much of the traditional domestic duties unless it involves sugar. (Mmm, cookies.)     

However, as far as silverware is concerned I've got mad skills! MAD SILVERWARE SKILLS!

Of which skills, my family seems clueless. Let me break this down. I've got three particular techniques in this arena that are amazing. Number 1! I know how to load a dishwasher. You know that thing where they say men are better at packing and unpacking than women? Totally not true with the dishwasher. I can get more in a dishwasher, in a manner that will make sure everything gets washed (i.e. no blocked water spouts, nothing flips over, no cumulating gunk, etc.), than anyone else in my household.  And from what I've seen, some of my friends, too. (Sorry friends.)

Number 2! I only organize the silverware once and I do this at the beginning of the process. See I believe most people do it at the end. They rinse/scrub the silverware, throw it willy nilly into the silverware holder  of the dishwasher, and then when everything is clean they have to sort the spoons from the knives and so on. All while trying not to smudge the clean shiny goodness of the washed utensils. I, on the other hand, sort the silverware as I'm putting it into the dishwasher! Revolutionary, right? I have designated spots for sharp knives, butter knives, forks, cooking utensils, tiny teaspoons, etc. Because this is the thing... I usually have more time to load the dishwasher than to unload it.  With my method I can unload in a jiffy. My process REDUCES unload time! (Clearly, this makes it superior.) 

Number 3! Wait, there's more?! Yes! Because I have also developed the practice of organizing the spoons by size in the drawer!  See, we use a lot of teaspoons. Like a LOT. Like, I bought another set of silverware at an estate sale once just for the teaspoons.  And then we discovered sundae spoons! With the extra long handle! Just perfect for jars of sticky stuff you don't want to get all over your fingers. So we have those, too. And actual teacup sized spoons because they are adorable and surprisingly useful. Anyway, I got the brilliant idea to put all the small spoons in separate slots and the soup spoons in another! So you always know what you're grabbing! You practically don't even have to look! Mad skills, right? MAD SKILLS! 

But does my family understand this? No. Do they even notice the genius that is my spoon organization? I'm not sure! And as I pass on the chore of unloading to household members (especially Chance, because if he thinks I'm following him to college to do dishes for him he's got a rude awakening coming) do they follow the clear, obviously superior spoon system? NO!!!

But, you know, it seems kind of petty to mention something as silly as spoon alignment. Even though it drives me crazy. Right? Like maybe verging on OCD level? And so. not. important. Right? So... I really should just suck it up and actually LOOK at the spoons when I'm grabbing one? Even if it reduces my spoon retrieval time.

I'm not anal. I'm not anal. I'm not anal.