I seemed to have tweaked a muscle in my collarbone. I wasn't even doing anything, just sitting at a meeting and when I moved it felt funny. I didn't think pulling that particular area was even possible. I mean, I can't flex my breasts like Dwayne Johnson can. Especially not both girls separately. He really gets them going so that seems like he would pull a boob eventually. (I suppose I should call them "pecs" but that just seems silly. We all know he's boob popping.) I figure there must be a gene that lets you isolate those muscles. One I don't have. (I had to immediately go google that by the way. If the government is really tracking all of our google searches then I bet there's a file on me somewhere that is a real interesting read. (Google results were, sadly, inconclusive. But don't worry Google, even though you let me down, I still love you.)) I also don't have that gene for rolling your tongue into a straw. But despite that I HAVE taught myself to sort of whistle weakly! Like an airy, tuned hiss. I am very proud of that. I can do two, maybe three notes. I might, someday, be even able to do a limited variety of bird calls! A girl can dream.
I guess I'm kind of addicted to internet searches. I google stuff all the time! Sometimes I go to bed and then something pops in my head and I have to look it up or I can't sleep. Have you ever tried to sneak google so your family doesn't catch you? (Me too!) I'd like to say I can quit at any time but I'm not sure that's true. I blame it on my parents and the educational system. I collect knowledge like a magpie. Then I promptly forget that knowledge because I'm old and I have to google it again. It's an addiction that feeds itself! Well, I do remember random juicy facts like platypuses only have one working ovary and toilets come in different heights. Because I totally need to know both of those. (Actually, the toilet one comes in handy. I'm short.)
Anywho, if I've really pulled a muscle in my collarbone a quick search says I need to stick rice on it? Wait, no, that's an acronym, R.I.C.E. Yeah, that's too much work. Did I mention that I have a short attention span?
Holy shit, I just googled the rolling tongue gene and it's been debunked!! Our educational system LIED!