So you know how I wanted to relearn how to knit?  I couldn't figure out why Keen was being so supportive of this new crafty time-suck I was picking up.  Not that he isn't supportive, but let's face it, I've had a lot of crafty time-sucks over the years and they all come with a lot of stuff.  And sure some of them are pretty useful, like jam (who doesn't like jam?), but I totally admit that I have a whole "craft" closet, besides all the stuff that's in my office. (You know, whenever you have enough shit to have its own closet, well, it's kind of a thing, you know what I'm saying?)  But he was kind of extra cheerful about the whole knitting thing and it turns out he really wanted me to make him some hats!  So after I got back the basics for knitting I decided to try this really easy pattern to make a beanie. 

Oh my god, am I fucking up this beanie!  I had to start over four times for dumb mistakes.  Which I suppose is better than making a whole wonky hat but still. By the fourth time I decided to adjust the pattern to something "easier" even though I really don't know what I'm doing. But I have learned a little something each time I jacked it up so I thought, "Well, even if it's not perfect this should get me in the right direction." And you know what?  That fourth time seemed like the charm! I thought it was really going along well, I increased stitches at the right place and everything, and my fingers might have been cramping a bit after all those attempts but I was starting to really fly along.

And then I really LOOKED at my beanie and realized... it's kind of... twisted around.  I think I'm making a mobius hat. Or a mobibeanie.

Fuck my fingers hurt.



Somehow this post seems filled with sexual innuendos ("And then I really LOOKED at my beanie and realized...it's kind of...twisted around.)

But that's just my dirty mind--God, I need a girlfriend!

And all this talk about knitting reminds me of a silly poem my brother taught me when I was a kid:

There was a young farmer who lived by the sea, a decent young farmer who played with his...peanuts and popcorn in the springtime of yore, he met a young lady he thought was a...decent young lady who lay in the grass, and when she rolled over she'd show him her...features and fashions as slim as a duck, she promised to teach him a new way to...raise up the children and teach them to knit, while the boys in the barnyard were shoveling up...contents of the barnyard and lying in the grass, if you don't like my story well just kiss my...!

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