Previous month:
February 2012
Next month:
April 2012

Stupid things I did today, now with water

It occurred to me as I was standing precariously on a wooden bar stool in the shower, spraying down ceiling tile with 409, the fumes drifting rapturously into my brain, that perhaps that wasn't the soundest idea I could come up with after waking from a nap... of said nap I had taken to cut off an impeding headache but instead awoke with dizziness and a fever so again, perhaps, standing on a high, slippery surface breathing in chemicals that could only deteriorate my already tenuous judgement into something potentially life threatening was NOT the best possible decision.

So I got down. But did I stop there? 

No. After wandering aimlessly between the bathroom and bedroom for a while, occasionally attempting to clean and/or organize sundry items before invariably losing track of what I was doing (only sensing that I WAS supposed to be cleaning/organizing something or other), I then proceeded to plunge my arm fully into a fish tank to scrub its wall without noticing that I had not yet unplugged the electrical devices attached to the tank. Potentially life threatening situation #2.

Unplugged everything. Yay!  Took Zuma Blitz break. Yay!

While using a pump hose to clean the tank I hit upon the idea of fitting the tube over the round opening on one of my tank decorations to suck all the muck out of it.  How clever am I?!  My idea worked so brilliantly the hose was suctioned to the ornament. Fight ensued.  Managed NOT to soak myself or the floor (a fish-tank-cleaning first)!  Yay!

Finally decided that cleaning in general was probably not a good idea (and organizing was obviously not even an option), and went downstairs attempting to juggle iPhone, mug of tea, and thermometer...

...soaked myself and the floor.  But luckily, not the iPhone.         - wg

Catty Kisses

As part of Chance's homework he has to write a sentence for each of his weekly spelling words. This week he made his beloved stuffed animal, Catty, a central character, attempting to put her in a variety of amusing situations.  The next word was "kisses".

Chance:  "Hey Mom, listen to this one. 'Catty kisses balls.' Isn't that funny?"

Me:  "Oh honey..."

Chance, giggling: "Like tether balls and..."

Me: "That kind of sounds like Catty is kissing the other kind of balls. You know... like testicles."

Chance, looking aghast: "But that's not what I meant!!"

Me: "Yeah, but that's what it sounds like."

Chance stared at his paper then started erasing furiously.  "OK, I changed it. 'Catty kisses ME!'"

Me: "Very sweet, kiddo."

Because he knows what kind of girl Catty is.


Total vindication!  So I called up my mom to ask her a question about knitting that damn hat and guess what?! The PATTERN is wrong!  That's why it kept coming out weird; the number of stitches listed was completely wrong.  (Except for that time where I twisted it into mobius beanie. That was totally my bad.)  Whew!  I feel better.  Also? I realized that the yarn I was using was really difficult to work with; it kept snarling and catching and wouldn't hold the tension nicely and generally making everything worse. It was the cheap stuff I had bought to "practice with"... little did I know it would drive me insane. (I wish I hadn't bought three balls of it.)  So I ditched that yarn and decided to just try with the nice fancy yarn that I had meant to make into a hat anyway (you know, after I "practiced") with the adjusted pattern and voila!   

I am not hopeless.


So you know how I wanted to relearn how to knit?  I couldn't figure out why Keen was being so supportive of this new crafty time-suck I was picking up.  Not that he isn't supportive, but let's face it, I've had a lot of crafty time-sucks over the years and they all come with a lot of stuff.  And sure some of them are pretty useful, like jam (who doesn't like jam?), but I totally admit that I have a whole "craft" closet, besides all the stuff that's in my office. (You know, whenever you have enough shit to have its own closet, well, it's kind of a thing, you know what I'm saying?)  But he was kind of extra cheerful about the whole knitting thing and it turns out he really wanted me to make him some hats!  So after I got back the basics for knitting I decided to try this really easy pattern to make a beanie. 

Oh my god, am I fucking up this beanie!  I had to start over four times for dumb mistakes.  Which I suppose is better than making a whole wonky hat but still. By the fourth time I decided to adjust the pattern to something "easier" even though I really don't know what I'm doing. But I have learned a little something each time I jacked it up so I thought, "Well, even if it's not perfect this should get me in the right direction." And you know what?  That fourth time seemed like the charm! I thought it was really going along well, I increased stitches at the right place and everything, and my fingers might have been cramping a bit after all those attempts but I was starting to really fly along.

And then I really LOOKED at my beanie and realized... it's kind of... twisted around.  I think I'm making a mobius hat. Or a mobibeanie.

Fuck my fingers hurt.


You know what really chaps my hide?  So you know how I volunteer in the school library, right?  I put away books, do check in and check out, and generally straighten up.  Our librarian is only part time and the library is actually split between two buildings right now until they get the replacement building up from the fire, so it's really crucial to have parents help out.  So far I think there's maybe three of us.  Maybe.  Well, it's bad enough when the kids come in and flagrantly disregard the rules and make a big mess.  But then there are parents who come in who seem to be doing it too!  I mean, really?  Was that stack of books on the floor really there when you entered that aisle?  Did you just decide it would be a good idea to put every book backwards on the shelf?  It's a small library too, and I'm not really the patroling type but shit on a stick, I think I'm gonna have to.  I'm gonna have to be THAT library clerk.  And that just sucks.  

Of course, I might be just extra tired this week.  It's not just the time change either. We had Chance's 7th birthday this last weekend!  I am amazed at how quickly time has gone by and how tall he's getting!!  *sniff*  He had a Pokemon theme since he's so grown up and mature now.  (ha!)  During the party we only had one vomiting incident and three pieces of cake on the floor!  One of those pieces of cake which I found still on a plate but in the very back of a closet with only the fondant eaten off.  That right there is a kid who doesn't get much sugar.  I bet he/she went back for a second piece of fondant, too.

I was extra clever this year (shut up) and hired an entertainment group to keep the kids occupied for most of the party. What you see below are the 40-year-old version of Ash and the 20-something version of Misty. (Those are main Pokemon characters, don't you know.)

Chance's 7th birthday 001

 His Pikachu cake, natch.

Chance's 7th birthday 001

Unexpected comedy: listening to the kids shout out which piece of Pikachu they wanted to eat. "I want Pikachu's eye!" "Can I have his mouth?" "Gimme an ear, gimme an ear!"  Cannibals.  Don't you know Pikachu is your friend?!

Chance's 7th birthday 001


Then after the party was all said and done, everything cleaned up and a quiet Sunday, on Monday there was a teacher inservice day.  So three of us parents took a bunch of the kids to the zoo. Zoos are so cool. But there sure is a hell of a lot of walking.

And that is why I am cranky psycho book lady this week.

                - the weirdgirl

P.S. Oh my god! How awesome would it be to catch library helpers (or messy parents) in a poke ball and then release them when you needed help?! "I need you Dewey Decimal Lady! Now use sort and stack attack!" Ha ha! Gotta catch 'em all!

I guess that's only funny if you watch Pokemon.

Kind of huge in the mundane world

The days go slipping by.  It's funny, I've been doing this blog for so long - and so many bloggers I know have picked up and moved on - but I don't ever really think about shutting this blog down until I hit these spots where a week or more has gone by and I haven't blogged.  In fact, I didn't even notice that I hadn't blogged. That's when I think maybe I should hang it up. 

But I probably won't get around to it, just like sometimes I don't get around to blogging. :) 

Anyway, I wanted to talk about our Disneyland trip, especially as it relates to Chance's SPD and ADHD. Because our first trip to Disneyland was such a disaster, all trips after and onward have become a kind of barometer for how he's doing. On that first trip Chance had a hard time dealing with all the noise (because the place is never quiet), the enclosed rides, the general sensory overload, and then on top of that lots of walking and waiting in line. It was just HARD and we didn't really have a handle on the SPD yet.  The second time we went, he had gotten a significant amount of OT by that point and we had his noise cancelling headphones so it was a marked improvement. Not perfect but better.

This year, his thrid trip, went really well!  His default answer on trying new rides or shows is, "No thanks," and we've never been sure if that's because of memories from his first trip or just general SPD anxiety. He's better when it's a ride or show that's out in the open where he can see everything going on, but much of Disneyland is hidden inside rooms or behind mazes of lines.  However, this year, even though he was saying "no thanks" initially, we did get him to try several new rides and shows with a little coaxing. By the very end of the trip he was willingly trying new rides.  And then, AND THEN, we met up with some friends and their kids for dinner and he tried some new food too!  Not just one new thing either, but several new things. This is a big deal. Not that he's a terribly picky eater but he went through his picky eater phase, you know what I mean, and now he's pulling out of it!  Mainly because his friends were there.  Ah, the power of peer pressure!  I love you. For now. Not when he's a teenager and goes all stupid.

Anywho, those are the big highlights. That doesn't mean there still weren't a few meltdowns. I mean, Jesus, have you been there?  ALL the kids have meltdowns at some point.  And some of the parents, too.  Especially during that magic period right before dinner but before the parade and after walking all day and "Where all you going kids? We're not done yet"!  It must suck for the employees there who pull that shift. I also had one woman come up and ask where I got Chance's headphones. I could tell she was at that desperate-to-talk-to-someone beginning point of dealing with special needs that we've all been through.  I feel you, hon. And I wrote down a few websites for her to check out at home.

So that was it! Vast improvement over all and I hope the vacations just keep getting better.  Me and Keen even got to sneak out a couple of times to ride the grownup rides!  Wow, that came out sounding like an innuendo. We snuck out separately.  Um. Don't worry, Chance was always supervised by at least one of us.

            - the weirdgirl