I have been blessed this holiday season with not just one, but TWO ear infections inflicting my son. That's right, TWO! For the price of one. Exactly 15 days apart. See how that works right after the medicine runs its course? First in one ear and then out the other! Ha ha, I'm so fucking funny. I should have my own TLC show. I could call it Snot and Tiaras. Except he'd probably get pretty pissed about the whole tiaras part. He'd be all like, "What are you doing? My ear hurts! Are you crazy, woman?!" And then I'd have to send him to his room for being misogynistic and shit. Which he wouldn't understand so he'd probably have a really spectacular tantrum in his room. But producers LOVE that crap so hey, it's all good. Child services wouldn't get called on me for trying to make my son wear glitz dresses and flippers in front of live cameras while he had an ear infection and really just wanted to suffer quietly while playing video games. I would probably win an award or something because it is so hard to accessorize a red hot ear! But no worries, I'll find a way.