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January 2012

Watch the sparks fly off those needles

So guess what, I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas!  Woot!  I've been eyeing e-readers for a while but for a long time I just wasn't willing to shell out the cash for them.  We also had an iPad so I figured I could just read books on that.  That makes sense, right?  Except for the one small thing I had forgotten... between Chance and Keen I NEVER get the iPad long enough to read something like a book! 

Geez, mom, what we're you thinking?  You don't need no stinking devices.

(That was my son, in case you were wondering. I don't refer to myself in the third-person "mommy" nomenclature because that is just another step towards the slippery slope of cat lady. I bet you didn't know that.)

Anyway, as most of you techy types know e-readers came down in price so I finally felt OK about asking for one.  And guess what again?  I'm not gonna share it!  It's mine, bitches!  (OK, maybe Keen will get to look at it occassionally. Only if he behaves.)

Anyway (part two), now that I have a Kindle I had a spectacular idea!  I'm going to teach myself to knit! Actually I used to know how to knit and I still remember how to do the stitches but I don't know how to cast on or bind off and those seem rather crucial.  I keep meaning to go over to my mom's house for a lesson but we've talked about that about twenty times over the last couple years and I still haven't done it. I don't want to do anything too fancy with knitting, just basic scarves and blankets (straight lines, people. As we saw with my attempt to learn how to sew that was rather a spectacular failure).  I've also been wanting to work on this idea for necklace/neck warmers that has knit or leather for the back of the neck and jewelry elements in front.  Because in the winter I really need to keep my neck warm but I can't stand turtle necks; my back neck muscles will cramp from the cold but the front of my neck is sensitive because of my thyroid.  It's an issue.  So this idea is rather a scarf/jewelry combo, not as bulky but still stylish.  (And rest assured even though I can't sew worth beans I CAN make jewelry.)  So once this brilliant idea occurred to me I went on my Kindle and downloaded Knitting for Dummies for $.89!  And you thought a Kindle was just for reading! Well, yeah I guess I am using it for reading but that's not... wait, I'm confusing myself.  The point is I expect a whole new realm of activity all because of my Kindle! 

And you all thought electronics would make inert slaves of us all!  Ha ha ha!


Need to put in a little more effort

Last year I kind of hit a wall with the family Xmas newsletter, as you can see below.  Let's see if I can come up something a bit more interesting this year.  So does anyone else write a newsletter for the holidays, real or otherwise?  Just wondering.   I figure, in the age of shows like the Family Guy I can't be the only one making stuff up. ;)


Dear Family and Friends,

We hope you all are enjoying this wonderful holiday season and that the past year has treated you well!  It has been incredibly quiet this year for our family.  In fact, it has been so uneventful I am a little embarrassed to be continuing our newsletter!  However, after much discussion we decided traditions are an important part of the holidays and must prevail!  If only for familial continuity.

As I said this year has brought no new adventures to the wg/Keen family.  Our vacation was disappointingly standard, there were no surprise visits from supernatural creatures, and discoveries of any kind have eluded us.  Our lives have become downright mundane!  Through sheer desperation we all turned to a variety of new hobbies in a bid to stave off boredom.  Keen began stamp collecting, I began preserving butterflies, and Chance taught himself calligraphy in the style of 12th century illuminated manuscripts. When we had each mastered our respective diversions we began collaborating them into unique art pieces to adorn our walls, and we even posted a few online.  Those art pieces have since been picked up for reproduction as a new elite scrapbook line that will be sold through Target. 

But besides that nothing has happened.

Again, we hope you all are well and that each and every one of you was blessed by adventure!  Our best to you all.  Merry Christmas and joy to you in the New Year! 

Love always,

The wg/Keen Family

It's all good this Christmas

I have been blessed this holiday season with not just one, but TWO ear infections inflicting my son. That's right, TWO!  For the price of one.  Exactly 15 days apart.  See how that works right after the medicine runs its course?  First in one ear and then out the other!  Ha ha, I'm so fucking funny.  I should have my own TLC show.  I could call it Snot and Tiaras.  Except he'd probably get pretty pissed about the whole tiaras part.  He'd be all like, "What are you doing? My ear hurts! Are you crazy, woman?!"  And then I'd have to send him to his room for being misogynistic and shit. Which he wouldn't understand so he'd probably have a really spectacular tantrum in his room.  But producers LOVE that crap so hey, it's all good.  Child services wouldn't get called on me for trying to make my son wear glitz dresses and flippers in front of live cameras while he had an ear infection and really just wanted to suffer quietly while playing video games.  I would probably win an award or something because it is so hard to accessorize a red hot ear!  But no worries, I'll find a way. 

Squeezing in a little dessert

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There's no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On!


I like nothing more than having a big old open house holiday party. I think it's because I fondly remember going to them, or my parents having them, growing up.  My godparents always held a tree trimming party.  There was holiday caroling, which always felt like a party that just roamed on foot.  However, the older Keen and I have gotten the more we've inherited some of the family hosting duties.  Some years, when you host Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day all in a row, plus people "just stopping by" (ahem, elderly relatives), sometimes it's hard to squeeze in another gathering.

But it can't always be about family either (no offense, Mom).  I need some quality friend time, just to hang. Because that is a big part of the holidays and, frankly, just part of the life I want to live.  But our friends are in the same boat with the family duties as we are, and it got harder and harder to coordinate everyone's schedule, especially as our families grew.  So last year (I think it was last year... damn old age!) we came up with an alternative.

Instead of organizing a party, or a dinner, or some other activity event with a lot of coordinating parts to it, let's keep it mellow and have a... dessert potluck!  Da da dum!  Because everyone looks forward to dessert.  It's a win for the kids, a win for the adults.  Even my diabetic husband enjoys dessert (in moderation).  Another key element of this plan was, "relaxation!"  Basically what the invitation came down to was, "We're going to laze around and eat sugar." 

So everyone made a goodie and brought it over to share.  We were so clever, we just had to congratulate ourselves.

Several pounds later... "Ooooooh, why did you people let me do this?"

"I can't eat anymore."

"There's a ton left over. Do you want to take some home?"

"NO, I don't want to take some home!"

"You guys suck."

"We should definitely do this again."

And we are.  At least that's the plan so far and we're moving it forward to January, too.  Because after all the hectic holidays are over, the buzz fades and the winter drabs set in, you need some lazy sugar fests with your best buds to look forward to.               - with much love, wg


Decorating cookies!


And the sugar high afterward.  (They were racing chairs.)


Remember to check out Duncan Hines' website to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a Princess (yeah, she was fucking princess. Deal) who was all a twitter over the country's royal holiday.  To celebrate the Princess decided to bestow presents upon all her loved ones so she went to the coolest mall around.  There she found that valet parking was running a one day only free special.  Inside the mall the crowds were thin and the salespeople were totally friendly and unstressed.  The shelves overflowed with abundance and everywhere the eye could see were two-for-one deals and 50% or more everything-must-go discounts.  It was totally boss.  Not only that but the Princess was getting double points on her credit cards, which she immediately turned in for free Starbucks via a spanking new app on her phone which was also free and never froze.  (Not that she needed to, because Starbucks was giving away grande-sized samples of Peppermint Mochas.  Natch.)  Fortified, the Princess found all the gifts she desired and each and every one was perfect.  And there were no gagging of spoons, and everywhere the birds were singing, and all was pleasant and beautiful.  Except for the strange amount of people walking around sporting mullets.  Princess didn't know what was up with that shit. Then the Princess jumped into her awaiting Tbird and drove home to celebrate the holiday in warmth and comfort.  And then she woke up. 

The End.