Previous month:
September 2010
Next month:
November 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day Two

This week has been a little nuts.  We had some tantrum episodes because once I typed about how things were fine, I jinxed myself.  Again. I really gotta stop doing that.  And I LOVE me some Halloween!  But when did it move from one day of the year to a several day event?  As a society, we're not managing expectations well. 


Day 02 - Something you love about yourself.

I love that I'm a creative person.  I like thinking differently from the norm.  Even if it makes me a little quirky.  I like making things.  I like looking at something and seeing what else I could make it into, or making something brand new from scratch.  I love all forms of art.  I love other creative people, new ideas, new points of view.  I enjoy playing with words and being witty.  I don't always manage to be witty but the days where my brain cells line up the right way I like spinning a funny story or coming up with an outrageous scenario.  Just for my own enjoyment.  I don't always say the right thing.  I don't think I say the wrong thing but I know I sometimes say things people don't expect.  Or maybe are not supposed to be said?  I'm not always good at those social clues; at the fitting in with certain crowds.  I know I'm supposed to care more about that but I don't.  In high school where I was definitely branded a nerd weirdo, it hurt but I wasn't going to change who I was.  Frankly, I enjoy my own creative temperament.  I probably entertain myself way more than I entertain other people.  (And I totally find that funny.)

Being a kid is hard because you haven't realized yet that not everyone thinks in the same way(s).  So if you're creative, or just think a little differently, it can be painful.  Finding friends, resisting pressure, feeling comfortable being yourself.  As adults it gets easier, of course, by then you've met people who want to be creative and struggle with it.  I appreciate it more now.  I love being creative.  In my mind there are more ups than downs. (Except for the sad support of poetry in our current culture, but that's another rant.)

Even though this week has been nuts this is the time of the year I get to immerse myself in it, the quirkiness and the hot glue, the glory of building and the disaffected off center.  The other.  It's rather delicious. 

You know one of the things I love about this 30 days thing?  I don't have to think up a title!

Irony noted.                  - wg

The Grumble List

The title should be self-explanatory, no?

1. Spent an afternoon rushing from the party store to the $.99 store comparison shopping to save money on party plates (savings = $4.00!), only to then go to the pharmacy and blow a $100 bucks. All on necessary items like prescriptions and razors. Really?

2. Doctors whom you've just met making blanket statements about you.  Such as, "Oh, you're not pregnant" or "Your hormones are just fine."  You need to actually examine someone first, if not test them and you can't tell just by looking.  And why are these statement always "female problems" related?

3. Hormonal acne (emphasis on the hormones)

4. Erythromycin

5. I am an organized person but mornings have set out to prove me wrong. Bitch.

6. My studies at school included a BA in English Literature, partial completion of an MA in American Literature with an emphasis on mythological archetypes, and minors in creative writing and philosophy. I worked my way through school.  I then spent 11 years working in Marketing (mainly paying off school).  Nowadays I clean up cat puke at least once a week.  Not sure if that's karmic payback or the natural order of things.

Please feel free to add your own.

30 Days of Truth - Day One

I've been feeling a lot lately that I have the blog from blah hell so I'm going to give this a go. There is a list at Avitable's, but I'll post the list again at the bottom.  I probably won't do this 30 days straight, because it's my world and even if it's blah as hell I still have control of the blahness. That's my disclaimer and I'm sticking to it. :)

Day One - Something you hate about yourself.

I am really hard on myself.  It puts me in a bad space.  Ironically, unlike most moms, I'm not hard about everyday decisions or my parenting choices but I'm really hard on myself about meeting personal goals.  For example, when I even question being hard on myself a little voice inside my head says, "Well, you can't be that hard on yourself or you would have accomplished more by now, wouldn't you?"  I had a lot of lofty goals when I was young and I have not met them. Actually, they weren't that lofty, they are completely doable. 

And there's the voice in my head again. 

I beat myself up a lot about how I spend my time.  The voice never completely shuts off and it's only getting worse as I get older.  I mean, shit, my mid-life crisis is just around the corner.  Buying a convertable won't cut it for me.  I'd like to stop pressuring myself but on the other hand, part of me is afraid of losing that voice because then I won't accomplish anything.  I've really built a vicious circle for myself.

It's not that I haven't accomplished anything; it just never feels like enough because I haven't approached the "big goals".  Something I hate # 2, and somewhat related to this, is I get stuck in my head and I think I'm probably being distant to my family.  I say I "think" because when I'm stuck in my head it's also up my ass and I can't see very well in there so it's hard to judge how preoccupied I'm being.  Then the voice pops up telling me I'm wasting time in my head instead of getting shit done.

(Oh, and the big goal was to write a novel. The big BIG goal was to be a published author and be writing multiple things by now.  But I would be happy right now with one novel finished.)         - wg


Here is the 30 Days of Truth list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Robot Building part 2

I am not done with the robot yet...

... but I'm almost done.  A few more details (kindly disregard any pieces of tape you see) and I gotta bolt everything together.  I think I also need to take a sharpie and make those into angry eyes.  What do you think?

Holy cheesy B-flicks Batman!

Robot 2 001

My mission is to destroy...

Robot 2 001

Oh hey dude, what's up?

Robot 2 001

High five!

Robot 2 001

Um... are you looking at my lights?!

Robot 2 001

Not cool, dude.

Special thanks to those who suggested toy grabbers for hands. I found some at Target for $2.50 a pop! Score!                     - wg

S is for Superstitious, M is for Meow

I'm becoming superstitious.  Every time I write something here that is in the least little bit prohetic (or just optimistic) I jinx myself. Such as, "I think we're getting better!" or "Things have been going well!"  Then all progress stops dramatically.  Just.  Because.  It's gotten so I'm afraid to post anything without throwing a black cat over my shoulder. Or throwing salt at a cat.  Or... something.  I'm not sure how all this superstition business got so violent.

But I'm going to risk the kitty because... Chance has been doing really well in school.  I mean, comparitively.  Compared to last year, and compared to the year before that.  Compared to a kid who doesn't have SPD/sensory issues.  He had some rough patches in the beginning, the first 2-3 weeks of school.  He was having massive tantrums, one's where he was throwing himself down on the pavement kicking and screaming.  Which he doesn't do at home (so, you know, mortifying).  I was hoping the tantrums were all about the new transitions, and were not setting up a pattern for the year (because that would be like repeating 3 all over again).  I know it has to be rough on him.  A lot of activity, a lot of kids, a lot to process.  Luckily, it was about the new transitions.  Now that he's settled in there's been quite a lot of reasonable (for 5) behavior!  I've been really proud of him.  He still wiggles and touches everyone way too much.  He is still easily distracted.  He has a tendency to shout out without raising his hand.  I think that's the one that drives the teacher batty. (Frankly, I'm amazed how ordered she keeps that class of 30 kids.  It is fricking impressive.)  Basically, most of his issues now (knock on wood, chuck a cat) seem to be impulse control ones stemming from sensory overload.  Even the sensory overload seems to be getting better.  (His focus... not so much.)  Most of the teachers/aides who encounter him and don't know about the SPD just assume he's ADHD and treat him accordingly.  And for now, I'm fine with that.

I'm interested to see how academic assessments turn out, though.  At home, I see him reading and doing math beyond the kindergarten curriculum.  I strongly suspect he's not showing some of that interest and skill at school.  At home doing that stuff is fun, at school there are kids to play with.  Why would he read a book or ask about math when there are kids around?

But all in all, two months in things are going pretty OK.  Now without further ado I need to go find a rabbit to give an indian burn.  Or maybe I should try this the other direction:

Things are going wonderfully well with not winning the lottery!

              - wg

You know when you work out and then your muscles are sore? Like that, but in the stomach

We weren't on the mend.  I knew typing that would jinx us.  There was one last bout of puking on Chance's part, then I got sick over the weekend.  Now Keen is feeling bad, too.  This is like sneaker flu.  You think it's over and then it comes creeping back after you've eaten something tasty yet awful.  I'm not even sure what day it is.  Lucky for all of us it's a furlough week from school.

Anyways, all I got is pictures. The day Chance was sick (and before I felt really bad) I worked on a project similar to the theme of the robot.  I wanted to try converting a water gun into something more steampunk. This is my first attempt at this sort of project so I had a few flubs along the way but it's all part of the learning process. I'd like to do more of these but now I know to consult friends who have more painting expertise than I.  I have a steampunk gun that I bought from an Etsy artist that is really well done and it has some lovely techniques that I don't know how to capture. Yet.

This is what I started with:

Steampunk gun 001

I painted the base in a brass color, which was my first flub. I should have done the base in iron oxide brown, then brass to get the antique look I was going for.

Steampunk gun 001

I painted all the bright orange sections in copper. I left the silver sections alone.

Steampunk gun 001

Then I added some leather and metal filigree.

Steampunk gun 001

Finally, I added a little silver to the plastic bottle and painted on copper bands to make it look more like antiqued glass.

Steampunk gun 001

I wanted to mount a scope on top, too, but I was having hardware issues and then stomach flu hit.  This is all just for fun.  Steampunk pieces can get a bit pricey and I wanted to come up with something at a little lower price point that is still fun to look at and handle.  What do you think?

              - wg