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September 2010

Bad Mom Move #1,346

So apparently I sent my child to school with a moldy sandwich.  Which I find ironic considering that whole other incident involving bread.  I was going to pack a lunchables but Chance inisisted on a bologna sandwich and I was kind of in a hurry so I admit I did not inspect every element of said sandwich while making it.  When I heard about the issue I figured there was a spot of mold on the crust or something and one of the lunch attendants just didn't want to chance it.  But upon lunch box inspection I found one of the inside pieces smeared with a good swipe of mold in a lovely shade of blue-green.  Which then got all over the bologna. Chance was pretty pissed about not getting to eat the bologna.

I used to totally give my mom crap about not paying attention when she made our lunches and one of us kids getting an all jelly sandwich while the other got all peanut butter.  And there was that one time when an ant got in the sandwich.  So obviously karma is getting me back for not just shutting up and eating that PB&J ant lunch.  Because nowadays I would probably just eat the ant.  Frankly, the bread mold worries me more than eating ants.

How many bad mommy points does that count for?

- the weirdgirl

P.S. The teacher totally laughed at me.

It is too hot. That is all.

Here are BlogHer 10 pictures in the lieu. I'm not listing who anybody is, you have to guess. That's part of the game.

All I'm gonna say is the balloons were part of the infamous sex session.

BlogHer 10 018

BlogHer 10 018

Keep smiling. They're finally leaving.
BlogHer 10 018

That's not really a sandwich.
BlogHer 10 018

Our room was festive!
BlogHer 10 018

Things got wild.
BlogHer 10 018

And finally the Sunglass Mafia showed up.
BlogHer 10 018

I was scared.

What is this thing you call freedom?

I really should get off my ass because now that Chance is in school and they've extended the school day I've got SIX HOURS to myself!  There are fancy stores to visit, and cities, and activities I could do where it would be inappropriate to bring a child along. And before your heads drop too far into the gutter I'm talking poetry readings where I could listen without feeding my child video game cartridges and unendingly nudging him to hush.  I'm talking artsy stores where every single item (including the salespeople) are made up of glass, and not just regular glass made from desert sand, I mean fancy glass from Italy made from tiny ground-up glass elves. I'm talking exotic locales (i.e. local places of interest) where I could be eating something fruit inspired that is not remotely as healthy as eating actual fruit without sharing.  That's what I'm talking about.

And you know what I've done for the last three days while Chance is off scampering on the playground? I've fricking slept.  I've slept through my precious freedom hours and it is all Lady Gaga's fault.  I went to her concert Tuesday night (review at Culture Brats!) and somewhere between the crotch gyrating, heart eating, and the giant angler monster I got a cold!  A fucking cold!  While it's still warm out!  I just know those flaming boobs were spewing germs into the audience.  And the whole concert here she was inciting us to "set ourselves free".

Really, Ms. Gaga?  Because I can't be pretend fabulous with a cold.

Or, as one fellow parent, said to me yesterday, "What, you expect a life?!"

Fuck yeah. Lady Gaga said so.

Bitch.                  - wg

Firstly, we will learn grammar

Today was Chance's first day of kindergarten!!  Can you hear the elation?  I'm pretty psyched, he's pretty psyched.  I'm pretty sure there will be no tears (unless Keen loses it, the big softee).  Me and the kiddo went through all our tears when he started preschool (MUCH more traumatic at that age).  By the end of summer at home I think Chance and I both are ready for school.  I'm excited for him to make new friends and start learning new things. Trust me, he's honed his video games skills to a fine point. And yes, I'll admit we spent a good chunk of summer playing video games.  And swimming.  That's what summer is for!

Chance's uniform 002

Today was a short day where the parents stayed in the classroom with the kids (in case any of the  parents needed emotional support). The kids looked so cute in their little uniforms!  (Even though I still strongly disapprove of uniforms. No need to give up one's principals in the face of cuteness.)  Everything is spanking new so I figure this is the best they're going to look all year.  (And sure enough Chance slopped chocolate across his white shirt as soon as we headed home. (See right for the still clean version. Technically, he's also supposed to have a tucked in shirt and belt but... yeah.))  There is also a Boo Hoo Breakfast tomorrow for the parents (cue more emotional support) while the kids start their first real day.

Boo Hoo Breakfast. Go ahead, you can snort.

I'm only a little anxious.  Chance already stands out on energy level.  And they lengthened the kindergarten day from four hours to six hours just this year.  (I had a brief moment of panic when I heard about the longer days earlier in the summer, but I'm over it now.  I think.)  They also increased the class size to 30 kids.  However, his focus has gotten better and, hopefully, we'll see how his self-regulation for the SPD issues go.  He's still in group OT and speech which should help.  I'm anticipating that he might need something for his hands to squeeze.  His teacher seems great.  Very mellow and unfazed, like she's seen it all.  (Because who wants to walk into their kid's classroom to meet the high-strung teacher, right?)  And the parents seem really cool.  That's important because I've signed up for the parent participation program.  (Because it's all about me.)

You can't see me but I'm typing really fast.  I think I've drank my caffeine limit for the day already.  Talking about high energy, oy.

- the weirdgirl

P.S. I double checked and it says it's true but I'm not convinced "firstly" is a proper word.

Middling tidbits

Today is the five year anniversary of this blog.  I almost missed it!  Because I'm not very good at things like dates.

Blogging is often a learning curve that... doesn't curve so much as it whips around turns like a mountain road. One of the juicy tidbits I learned at BlogHer 10 this year was to put a Google alert on my blog name or real life name.  Duh.  I've been doing this five years and that never occurred to me?  I only have Google alerts for Bigfoot, UFO, and monsters. (You know, important shit.)  Obviously, I've been doing this whole thing wrong!

Here is my very first ever blog post.  I still often feel like screaming, but I'm so much more prone to a sore throat now.  WTF age?  Hopefully, I have not stumbled into the pretentious fuck voice (although sometimes I wonder if that might not make my blog more interesting.  (Note to self: consider pretention?)).

No Apologies.              - the weirdgirl

My Mamacita gave me my first set of pearls.  She also gave me my first clutch purse, when I was too young and tomboyish to know what to do with it.  She gave me a gold owl pendant necklace that would be very vintage today, and a set of miniature perfume bottles that I absolutely adored even though I really couldn't wear perfume without it tickling my nose.

I kept everything.

My Panamanian Mamacita, my dad's mother, was a lady.  She always encouraged me to stand up straight.  Her hair was always done, her jewelry on, her clothes put together.  I quite admired her gentility, even if my tomboy self didn't always understand it.  She was gracious (even when expressing an opinion that was less than gracious).  She was nice.  In a world where people don't always bother to be nice anymore.

She passed away recently.  She was 96.

I feel like a hole has appeared in our family history with her passing.  She didn't recognize me the last time I saw her, at a cousin's wedding a few years ago.  She danced at that wedding more than I did.  I doubt she would have recognized me if I had seen her more often, but I deeply regret that I did not make the opportunity to see her.

It's funny how much I enjoy pearls and purses now.