And then
Swimwear Must Die '10

On fires, catfights, and looking on the brighter side of life

I'm happy today.  No, really.  Even though... check this shit out... our local elementary school, the one Chance will be attending kindergarten in the fall?  It FRICKING BURNED DOWN!  I'm not kidding.

OK, it wasn't the entire school (that was me being "dramatic". I was just trying it on for size). But one whole building was lost, including the library and the first and second grade classrooms.  The fire started at 4:15 yesterday morning and quickly grew to a six alarm blaze.  No one was hurt. The cause of the fire looks "suspicious".  I feel really bad for the kids and the school.  I mean, it's gotta be devastating to lose your classroom, whether you're a kid or a teacher. 

But the absurdity of following up my whiny post with this news is just... absurd.  You can't make this shit up.

On a completely different note, remember how we have a new kitten?  Well we also have two other cats, Jake and Missy. Relations have been a bit... shall we say... rocky?  Especially with our girl cat.  She was queen you know. I just never realized how much of a queen bee.  Here's a basic run down. 

Day 1

Jake & Missy: Um, what the hell? That kitten better be visiting. *cold shoulder*

Kitten: People!  And cats!  And FOOD!  I love you!

Day 2 - 7 (while cats are still separated for safety)

Jake: What the...? Who the hell are you?! *swat hiss*

Missy:  I'll fucking kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!! You better get the hell out of my house!  I'll go circus freak crazy on your ass! I'm not KIDDING!! *attack attack attack*

Kitten: Hold me.

Day 8 - 20 (kitten is being allowed to roam the house with supervision)

Jake: What the...? Stop following me! *hiss*

Missy:  I'm still going to fucking kill you, but I'm getting tired of getting yelled at so now I'm going to do it quietly. *stalk stalk attack*  I'll KILL YOU!!  *attack attack*  KILL!!!

Kitten: Jesus fricking christ!  What is wrong with that lady?!  Is she completely psycho?!  Mom, hold me.

Day 21 - 30

Jake: What the...? Stop it! I don't want to play! *meow*

Missy: You are never going to be part of this house. Do you hear me? NEVER! *hiss swat attack*

Kitten: Listen, I'm impressed OK? How about you stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours?

Missy: Screw you!  This is MY territory!  I once took out a catnip cartel.  You underestimate me, kiss your furry ass goodbye.  *hiss growl*

Kitten: Yeah? Try it while I'm sitting in mom's lap! *glare hiss glare*

Day 31 - to present

Jake: What the...? Where do you keep coming from? Jesus, you're like a pesky ninja.

Missy: I KNOW you're afraid of me! And you better keep being afraid. *hiss swat*

Kitten: I'll get big some day. I'll cut you.

Missy: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Kitten: Nothing!

Missy: Yeah. I thought so.

Kitten: Cut. You. *purr*

So as you can see... PROGRESS!  Woo!

In my next life, I'm gonna be a cheerleader.

                - the weirdgirl

Comments

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)

Holy hell, Missy sounds like she's Johnny from 'The Karate Kid'! Or Greg from 'Just One of the Guys'. Basically, Missy is the Billy Zabka of your pets. I wish you all luck. The kitten better get its skills down!

Jeanne

You're just too funny. Now I want you to come and narrate for my cat and dog... oh, and what about the gecko and turtle, too? Yeah! lol

the weirdgirl

FADKOG - Billy Zabka! That is exactly what she's like! In fact, she's a very pretty cat, too, so if there was a highschool for cats she would be that beautiful mean girl who terrified everyone. With Billy Zabka thrown in. Thanks!

Jeanne - Happy too! I've been meaning to start a career narrating animals. Warning: mine won't be Disney sweet.

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