Getting back on the horse
How once again being cheap bites me in the ass

On dreams, penises, and professionalism

My child is not letting me get anything done today.  I've been attempting to answer a few emails, write a little... about 45 minutes worth of work I figure... for about two hours now.  OK, granted, he's coming off of two weeks of illness, finally feels better, and now it's raining so yeah, I'd be bouncing off the walls, too.  Oh wait, no I wouldn't... because I am old and I like to rest.

I woke up with this great blog post in my head!  I was all excited!  Until I realized that I had dreamed about posting.  Like something happened in my dream and I literally thought, in my dream, "This is going to make such a great post!"  And sadly, it would have, because in my dream I'm at a friends' house (but, you know, their made-up, super awesome, swanky house that they don't have in real life) and there's some contractor there, like a plumber or something, and he's completely naked.  But hot. The way contractors are on TV.  And it's obvious that he's a nudist, not pervy, just likes to be naked (mitigated by the hotness).  But still, it's a little unprofessional and he even has an underling contractor with him, fully dressed, (also hot,) who's rolling his eyes behind his boss' buff back.  So we're all standing around the kitchen (the super awesome, swanky kitchen (oh, and everything was super clean, did I mention that?)), me, a couple of friends, and the naked and not so naked contractors, kind of at a loss for words, all wondering about the professionalism of penii, when in walks the owner of the house also, sarcastically, NAKED!

Point made, penis = not professional.

That's when I dreamed, "Oh my god, I'm SO posting about this!"  Because, honestly, how often is something like this going to happen? 

(Might I also mention, because it is just too good not to mention, that me and all my friends... we looked fabulous!  Like pre-kid, pre-middle-aged fabulous.  Which I guess is why we were rolling with the nudity.) 

It took me about two hours this morning, thinking, "There was that post I was going to write... what was it about again?"... before I realized it was a dream. 


                - the weirdgirl


katie | motherbumper

At least the naked contractor was hot. I'd be very concerned if your dreams had naked everyday looking contractors because that? That would be disturbing.

foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)

I think naked contractors would charge entirely too much, which is weird, since you'd think they wouldn't need the extra cash for clothes; however, you have to think if they're working with power tools sans clothes, the risk of drill bit damage is always out there.

Also, rolling with the nudity should be the name of a band. Or a biography. You know it, I know it.

A Vapid Blonde

I really, and I mean REALLY agree with MotherBumper on this, the guy who built our house would show up sometimes having forgotten to put his teeth in...that AND naked would totally send me to the liquor cabinet at 7 am.


I used to be a contractor.

But I don't think I'd be so hot naked. Three kids and all.

I've blogged dreams before. Except I didn't realize it was just a dream, until my husband commented on the post and was all "uh, that didn't happen". And I was the jackass of the day.


A swanky super clean kitchen? My god that's porn for moms. :)


But you did remember it! And it's classic!
I'm not a dream expert, but I do believe (as was suggested by one of my poetry-writing instructors, Mr. Darring) that the subconscious mind is aware of what's occurring in one's life before the conscious mind is--and that dreams are full of metaphors that are quite relevant in one's life. Nakedness, to me, represents the primal human. And yes, the primal human is unprofessional--professionalism is not instinctive, but learned.

We are animals, after all--unique among all animals, but animals nevertheless. I came up with this once: Are we hairless apes, or hairy angels? I think we are both. It is not just our higher intelligence that sets us apart--it is also our spirituality (granted that our spirituality might be a product of higher intelligence). In short, we are the only animals in the world capable of awareness of our Creator, and of communication with our Creator. Alot of people would disagree, but there is no evidence that even our closest ape relatives have this capability.

Anyway, I love the title of your post! It's similar to a George Carlin segment entitled "Rockets and Penises in the Persian Gulf"!


Thanks for the brief departure from real life!


Hmm... no naked contractors near where I live, but there IS a truck I see around announcing "Men in Kilts", who offer the services of gutter cleaning, window washing, and other up-high services. "No peeking!" it warns!

the weirdgirl

Katie - AGREED!

FADKOG - Naked contractors could only charge more if they're hot. Otherwise, we should seriously get a discount. A sliding scale discount, based on grizzled-ness. BTW, I've been trying to hum "rolling with my homeys" with "nudity" thrown in ever since you commented.

A Vapid Blonde - See, right there, that lack of teeth? Should have gotten you a discount! (see comment above)

Jess - Um, I've seen your pictures... and you're totally a hot contractor!!

Winnie - And for some men!

Scott - I think any time you put "penises" in a title it improves it.

Colorific - Keep hanging with me and there will be many more departures! (Be afraid.)

Carol - Oh, just for that advertising I'd have to look into their services. Not that I really want to look up men's kilts. They never wax.

Kelly Carpenter


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