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March 2010
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May 2010

Breakfast of Champions

Keen is hovering around 70 pounds of weight lost!  He's officially "stopped" dieting but he's totally addicted to working out now so I don't think the teeny tiny additional amount of food he's let back into his diet (which includes indulging in chips at Shark's games) is making an iota of difference.  He is a thorough convert to the church of healthy living. 

I, however, have gained five pounds since he started dieting.


Let's review.  (Since I promised to share some of his meal tips and have, of course, slacked.)

Keen's breakfast:  (dun dun DAH!)

vanilla soy milk with high fiber cheerios    -or-

high fiber yogurt mixed with multi-grain oatmeal

plus 2 fiber pills

(Because fiber fills you up so you don't feel as hungry.)

My breakfast (as of this morning):

cheese stick, lemon cookie, and grande chai latte with all milk

Hmmm, I wonder what the problem is?

            - the weirdgirl

How once again being cheap bites me in the ass

You know how you get those telemarketing calls (or knocks on the door) from contracting companies?  For example, the utilities company calling to offer a free evaluation about your furnace's energy efficiency?

I am a total sucker for those free estimates. 

This year I've had estimates done about our furnace, about installing solar panels, for getting our house repainted, and for a bathroom remodel.  The bathroom remodel is the only one we requested.  We really need a bathtub put in the downstairs bathroom.  Chance is still not sold on showers. 

By the way, if any companies out there do window replacement and there is a energy credit involved yes, I will schedule an estimate. (See? I have a problem.)

I just figure with all the credits the government is throwing around, and the fact that I don't have to pay for those estimates, it is beneficial to me to be educated about how much this shit costs.  Right?  Because there is always a point where those projects change from nice-to-have add-ons to more about necessary maintenance.   


So me and Keen had both figured that adding the bathtub was at the top of the list (based on us assuming there will be one major house project every year or two).  However, a young lady came to the door offering a house painting estimate and since that was also on my list and I can't resist free we had that done.  The last time I had inspected our house was before winter.  There were some cracks and flaking but not too bad considering it's a 100-year-old house and the last paint job was probably 20 years ago.

Walking around the house now, after rainy season with a few really hot days thrown in?  Warping freaking boards! 


OK, just one board... but still!  That is a moisture breach!  Plus, there was a lot more cracking.  It's worrisome.

So guess what's top of the list now? 

               - wg

On dreams, penises, and professionalism

My child is not letting me get anything done today.  I've been attempting to answer a few emails, write a little... about 45 minutes worth of work I figure... for about two hours now.  OK, granted, he's coming off of two weeks of illness, finally feels better, and now it's raining so yeah, I'd be bouncing off the walls, too.  Oh wait, no I wouldn't... because I am old and I like to rest.

I woke up with this great blog post in my head!  I was all excited!  Until I realized that I had dreamed about posting.  Like something happened in my dream and I literally thought, in my dream, "This is going to make such a great post!"  And sadly, it would have, because in my dream I'm at a friends' house (but, you know, their made-up, super awesome, swanky house that they don't have in real life) and there's some contractor there, like a plumber or something, and he's completely naked.  But hot. The way contractors are on TV.  And it's obvious that he's a nudist, not pervy, just likes to be naked (mitigated by the hotness).  But still, it's a little unprofessional and he even has an underling contractor with him, fully dressed, (also hot,) who's rolling his eyes behind his boss' buff back.  So we're all standing around the kitchen (the super awesome, swanky kitchen (oh, and everything was super clean, did I mention that?)), me, a couple of friends, and the naked and not so naked contractors, kind of at a loss for words, all wondering about the professionalism of penii, when in walks the owner of the house also, sarcastically, NAKED!

Point made, penis = not professional.

That's when I dreamed, "Oh my god, I'm SO posting about this!"  Because, honestly, how often is something like this going to happen? 

(Might I also mention, because it is just too good not to mention, that me and all my friends... we looked fabulous!  Like pre-kid, pre-middle-aged fabulous.  Which I guess is why we were rolling with the nudity.) 

It took me about two hours this morning, thinking, "There was that post I was going to write... what was it about again?"... before I realized it was a dream. 


                - the weirdgirl

Getting back on the horse

The problem with horses is... they move.

I was on a runaway horse once.  I was about five or so.  The farmer leading me, Queen of farm animals, and the horse dropped the lead for a minute, see.  The horse, recognizing the opportunity, weighed its options... run back to the farm for chow OR listen to an inexperienced girl child with high falutin' ideas about what she's capable of yanking on the reins.  Food won and in a split second the horse bolted through a fruit orchard with me on its back, pigtails a-flying.  (Mine, not the horses. Pigtails on a horse would just be silly.)  

You know what?  Branches hurt.  After it was all over, it didn't occur to me to be afraid of horses.  Which means I'm either brave or stupid, your choice.

There's a life metaphor in there somewhere.

Snarky fucking metaphors.

Anyway, I'm getting back on top.  (Heh. That's what she said!)  (Wait, that doesn't make sense because that is what I said.  hmmm) 

Anyway redux, I've got a post on MC Hammer pants over at Culture Brats!  I know you all still wear them.  And I KNOW, I just know, that someone out there is going to tell me, "But they're so comfy!" and/or "You're just jealous that you can't wear them!"  Because every single time I do a post knocking fashion someone tells me I'm just jealous.  

You know what I'm really jealous about?  I found these after I posted over at Culture Brats!

  Shlong harem pants

These must have belonged to a horse. 

(Can't ride this.)

              - the weirdgirl

Listing Life

Keen's cousin passed away last week.  Gil was extremely low functioning Down syndrome.  He was in his early 50s and pneumonia came on suddenly.  The last few winters have seemed to have gotten progressively harder for him health-wise.  He will be missed, but we are all glad he isn't suffering anymore.  

These last few months have been strange in how perfect a balance of extremes they've been.  There have been some really wonderful things - new projects, new health, new friends met - and right alongside there has been bad health and setbacks, hard times for loved ones.  Surprisingly I don't feel as stressed as I think I would have had this happened last year.  I think the decision to stop working was a good one (or, at least, the work has slowed down and changed focus) for myself and our family.

The truth is I'm hard on myself.  I struggle constantly with what I want to accomplish and what needs to be done.  On top of that I want to live a creative life.  One where I am creating.  And like many moms I take care of my family and do all the need-to-be-done things first.  I leave off anything else until the evenings, until my "free time", and then, often, I am too tired to do anything.  Then I beat myself up over not accomplishing more.

I think we all want, at the end of our lives, for someone to say "their life was full of music and laughter and love".  (And if you are the least bit creative you long for those descriptions of "artist communities" you read about.  You know, the ones that conveniently leave out depression or drug dependencies.)  But while you are living it, it often feels a life of lists.  I had this thing to do, and this, and that.  Then this happened, then that, then another. 

My grandfather is recovering and my mom finally flew home.  Keen is finishing up the tax season.  Chance and I have been sick since Easter.  We have the rosary on Wednesday and the funeral on Thursday.  I will be baking cookies. 

              - wg

Transition Pimp

Easter always makes me think of transitions.  (This is where I wax poetic, "Spwing! Spwing is what bwings us together...")   Recently, one project has tragically ended (crash and burn style) and another has gloriously begun.  Between the two I've neglected posting a bit. Or reading.  Ahem.

I'm still hoping I can work something out in the future for that first project, but this new project I am damn excited about!  I am writing for a new pop culture site started by Cynical Dad!  It's covers pop culture from the 80s to today.  Dare I say it is sweet?  Well, it is!  It is funny, warm, and clever and it has a great group of writers.  I've been really enjoying writing for them and I hope you'll come give us a visit.

Introducing... Culture Brats!    (Doesn't that logo look all superhero-esque?)


On a completely different note, (but still within the theme (I mean, of transitions, not the 80s)) I registered Chance for kindergarten today!  Yay!  That means I'm done!  Finally!  Except for buying uniforms.  And, you know, the anxiety come August.

But for now?  It's all golden.

           - the weirdgirl

What's in your basket?

So we've told Chance that when little kids don't behave, the Easter Bunny fills their eggs with bunny farts.  I extended it to a few pellets if you're really bad, but the bunny farts are what seem to have impressed him.   An egg filled with farts is by far worse than an empty egg... and yet, it's still a little intriguing. 

Chance has actually been pretty good lately, but we feel it's a wise parenting strategy to extend the same principals of Christmas ("We're calling Santa!") throughout the rest of the year.  It works great when you're approaching vacations, and of course Halloween's a natural.  I'm not real sure how we'll play that around Fourth of July - he's not a huge fan of the fireworks just yet - but it'll probably have something to do with explosions.  Any suggestions?  We do have a local parade... maybe I could work civic duty in there somehow.  "If you don't behave you have to ride with the politicians!"  

That probably won't seem as horrifying to him as to the rest of us.



                - the weirdgirl