Queen Kitschy and Proud
A Small Plug (or two)

Way to show me up, you damn box

Our microwave has gone insane.  The thing will not turn off.  Well, technically what it does is turn itself on when you open the door; the fan goes on, the little plate thingy rotates.  You know, the opposite of what it’s supposed to do?  As soon as you shut the door again it turns off.  At first it would only go on occasionally when you opened the door – scared the crap out of me the first couple of times it happened… I’d yelp, shut the door really quick and timidly try to open it again – but now it’s constant. 

Now sure, it might just be the fan turning on, no microwaves shooting around, but it still totally freaks me out.  Every time that stupid thing would turn on (before it was continuous) I swear my hands would feel achy, blisters would break out, I’d feel those little sprained muscles you get right around your joints.

(It could just be from all the drum practice and gardening I’ve been doing but still.  I feel irradiated.) 

Keen keeps using the thing!  Just jabs his hands (and food) in really fast.  Ugh.  I’m so not going there.  In fact, I’m just waiting for his hands to turn green/shoot webs/get xray vision or something.  Because even if it is just the microwave fan not turning off… that can’t be healthy.   I’m almost certain that radiation can be stored in fans and rotating plates.  (It’s, like, science or something.)

The saddest thing is realizing how much Chance and I rely on the microwave for our daily diet.  Keen is OK because Keen cooks.  I, however, am lacking in the cooking gene.  Food that I try to “cook” just doesn’t taste very good.  (Except for baking; I rock at the baked desert.)  Chance is a toddler and eats primarily toddler food… hot dogs, chicken nuggets, canned soup, etc.  These things are so much easier with a microwave!  With the microwave around I felt like a competent and diligent mother.

Now we seem to be ping-ponging between meals of trail mix and takeout corn dogs.

God forbid the rest of the appliances ever revolt.

            - the weirdgirl

Comments

foradifferentkindofgirl

This is a bizarre situation you're in!

My microwave is directly above my stove, so when I'm cooking on the stove top and in the microwave, I fear what is going on in my head as it is directly in line with whatever evil the microwave is spewing. It can't be good if you feel air escaping the microwave, can it?!

How many times can I say "microwave," btw!?

VegasDad

Your microwave is possessed. Perhaps it's time for a new one. I'd be afraid of radiation. I am with even the door closed. I won't stand in front of one with it on.

the weirdgirl

Tonight we finally picked up a new microwave. Yay! I'm not sure what Keen did with the possessed and frankly, I'm not gonna ask.

It's probably croaking "red rum" by now.

Summer

Ah yes, the beloved microwave.
When I was pregnant with Jack, Chloe thought the dinging of the microwave meant dinner was ready.
Sheesh...

The Phoenix

Maybe I should send you a couple lead aprons.

Evyl

Great post title. You have a knack for that.

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