The Resolution (or maybe an experiment)
On the Good Ship Ninnypop

So harsh it hurts

I am so frustrated right now.  Chance, after no incidences biting other children since this, has suddenly started biting at preschool, just in the last week and a half!  He's been doing so well in his new class, and he hadn't bitten anyone even when he was in the younger class where he was having problems.  He's been bit himself quite a few times, but you'd think that would be a lesson in "biting is bad", right? 

This thing keeps popping up in waves and it's so frustrating.  However, previous phases have only been directed at me and his dad... he has a tantrum, or gets really upset, and tries to bite.  One phase was when he was really young and then stopped.  Another phase happened right before his verbal skills really took off and then got better as he gained more words (except for the occasional freak out, absolutely ballistic tantrum).  We haven't seen any biting in a while and thought he was past all that.  And now it seems to be back. 

So what I'm doing (and what I did today) is picking him up from school as soon as he bites.  He loves school and he really looks forward to going.  He asks to go and I know he'd probably love to go more than twice a week.  However, I told him that if he wants to do fun things like play with his friends there can be no biting, and I told him if he did it at school I would pick him up.  So there you go, I'm following through.  Even though it feels rather harsh (not to mention expensive and wreaking havoc on my work schedule).

Here's the thing... I know he knows it's wrong, I think he's impulsively reacting without thinking, and I think he's sorry after he does it.  But I also think he doesn't really believe there will be consequences.  Or at least, consequences that affect him emotionally and are far reaching (i.e. going to the director's office until he calms down is not a consequence that has any impact on him).   

Apparently today when the director got off the phone with me and told Chance I was picking him up and that he couldn't go back to his classroom he started crying.  He cried until I got there. 

You really can feel totally pissed off and broken-hearted at the same time.
                   - wg

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