Proof My Friends Are as Weird as I Am
Funky Little Valentine

Granny Panties… in a Bunch

OK, I got a little beef to pick. (Wait, is that beef or bone? Probably bone, right? Who picks on cows?) I’ve written in the past about my issues with undergarments. Well since then (it’s been almost a year) I managed to find a couple new brands of undies. Yay! One style in particular that I absolutely love!

They are heavenly.  No ride up factor, fits perfectly. Beautiful, soft material. Like cloth spun from ripped-off angel wings on my butt. They have become the new favorites in my knicker rotation.

However, this style also happens to look a little granny-like. Not exactly billowing-in-the-breeze briefs but definitely NOT Brazilian cut bikinis or sexy thongs. (I still hate thongs.) When I first found them I distinctly remember thinking, “Hmmm, I’m not sure Keen is going to like these,” but they were So… Damn... Comfy!  And given the usual torture that is underwear shopping I knew, granny panties or not, these were keepers.

(Because, let’s face it, if anything is going to trump sexy it’s usually comfort. Sorry guys (as you sit on the couch in your boxers with a stained tee halfway up your stomach).)

So imagine my surprise when the following exchange occurred…

Keen, watching me change one day, “Your ass looks SO HOT in those!”

Ding ding ding! “Really?” Me, craning around to look at my undies, “I thought they looked like granny panties. I mean, they cover up a lot.”

“Whatever. They’re still hot, baby.”

(Welcome to what passes as foreplay in my house.)

I was ecstatic! Underwear that was incredibly comfortable and didn’t make me look geriatric! Or did in a really sexy way. Or… wait, that’s just wrong. Anyway, these suckers rocked!!

So of course, I go to order more… even at the whopping $7 dollars a pop (yeah, I know that’s a good price for underwear but I only pay $6 for my t-shirts and those have WAY more material!) and…

…they’ve been discontinued.

My sexy granny panties. Gone. Because why would anyone keep making something that was so damn comfortable?!

(No one should feel this much heartbreak so close to Valentine’s Day.)

         - wg



That's what I love about your site...I just never know what I'm going to find you posting about.


This is a movement I'll jump on. Where's the address for the letter writing campaign to bring back sexy grannie panties?


and I would have so loved to have ripped up angel wings on my bottom! dammit!


i feel for you babe. You know the underwear troubles I have too. Why do they always do that to you?


Well, you know they couldn't keep making them, it violates the law of women's underpinnings that they be both sexy AND comfortable.


Stupid thing ate my comment. I think. So sorry in advance if this posts twice.

What I was going to say was, "you should have known they would discontinue them, it violates the laws of women's underpinnings that they be both sexy AND comfortable."

That is all.


I have that problem with food at Walmart. Every time I try a new product, and love it, Walmart yanks it off the shelf! Not right away, though--it's like Walmart is waiting for me to become accustomed to it (they do have cameras everywhere), before it's discontinued! It's like Walmart is laughing at me, personally!

Most recent example--Oikos Yogurt. Oikos is a Greek-style yogurt, made in New England. It costs almost three times as much as Bryers, Yoplait, etc.--but is worth every penny. I especially like the honey-flavored Oikos. It is thick, totally natural--a real gourmet experience!

Walmart waited a little longer than usual with this one--about two months. And now it's gone! If Walmart weren't across the highway from me, and if I were rich enough to shop anywhere else--I'd never patronize that despicable store!

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