I seem to have lost my funny again. I.e. I’ve been reading plenty of funny stuff, and I’d love to contribute to the world of humor but I can’t get any to come out of me. I am in fear of this blog becoming dreary. Seriously, it’s keeping me up at night. So... time to make fun of tidbits of pop culture in a random and meaningless list.
Things I hate:
1. The Doodlebops – This should go without saying, but on deeper reflection I also think they’re an insidious gateway show to buying Hannah Montana and other Disney pop ilk. Even accidentally watching the Doodlebops makes me feel dirty and used. (That Disney… such the evil pusher!)
2. Handling so much poop (damn potty training!) that I might start to buy into the idea that feces facials are beneficial – I am never going to pay a couple hundred dollars for someone to fling bird shit at my face! NEVER! (However, the skin on my hands does seem to be smoother. *whimper*)
3. On a related note, bull semen conditioner – Not to be disgusting or anything, but if semen really worked my pubes should be smooth as silk.
4. The people in coffee shops – OK, let me clarify this… the baristas are always really nice and down to earth. The people in line? Oh my god, some of them have serious entitlement issues! If you’re ever feeling your life is lacking in a little attitude, just step into a Starbucks. People… regardless of what you’ve seen on TV, it’s just a drink not a fucking life statement. (“Don’t you know?! This latte is validating my whole existence! How DARE you skimp on the foam!! Stella! STEL-LA!”)
5. The fact that
Maxim NEVER has any redheads in their winning Hometown Hotties lineup – I am
personally offended by this and think there might be some hairism in play. Not to mention that the
Hometown Hotties always… look… the same! Blondes or brunettes, similar facial features. Primarily white, with maybe a
6. Wearing clean socks and stepping into spilled milk, juice, or other child drippings – Pet peeve! It just makes me contemplate the money we spend to be educated when in truth we will all be felled low by child drippings.
So what things are you hating lately? - wg