Priorities and Perspectives
Swimwear Must Die!

My Life with Buckets

“Sooo… can I use the utility sink to wash dishes?”
“No, just wait… I don’t want to chance another overflow.”
“OK… well how about I do a camp wash outside? Didn’t you just buy some new buckets? I can’t stand looking at these anymore.”
“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea. Hey, I’m going to make meatloaf for dinner.”
“Are you serious?!”
“Check it out… I’ll mix everything together and cook on tinfoil!”
“Ah ha! Smart!”

We’ve been having some plumbing issues at the (new) old homestead. We have a clog in the main, the kitchen sink is useless, and we can’t run more than one water-themed appliance without another one gurgling demoniacally and/or overflowing. Have you ever seen bubbles come foaming up out of your toilet? Yeah, it’s like that. I haven’t run the dish washer in about a week and the washing machine since Thursday. This morning as I was taking a quick shower Keen ran up the stairs to shout, “Better make it fast, the downstairs toilet is speaking in tongues!”

More of the adventure so far...

Roto Rooter Guy #1 – “I’ve fixed the problem! Someone flushed a piece of cloth down the sink.” (Not us!)

Roto Rooter Guy #2 – “Um, I’ve snaked it as far as I can go; the main is clogged and you’ve got a leak that’s dripping below the house. Did you know you’re not supposed to flush pieces of cloth (2 more) down the sink?” (Seriously, we just moved in. We’re NOT putting cloth down the sink!) “Oh, and by the way, your 90-day Router Rooter warranty is void with this problem. I’d call a plumber.”

(We remember that we bought a Home Warranty plan with the house. Woo hoo! Problem will be solved! (yeah, right))

Home Warranty-contracted Plumber #1 (in sexy Russian accent) – “I see your issue. Unfortunately, I only fix problems above floor boards. You need plumber to fix below floor boards. So sorry I couldn’t help. By the way, this home warranty company? Cheap, cheap, cheap.” (yipes!)

Home Warranty-contracted Plumber #2 (in blowhard accent) – “What? I can’t fix this! This plumbing is a mess!” (No, it’s not. We did have an inspector here.) “You got to snake the main. Who knows how far deep it is, that main might be 15 feet down! I think you need an engineering contractor! I’ll call the home warranty company but I don’t think they’ll authorize it.” (After home warranty company authorized it, plumber #2 spent half an hour on the phone with them insisting he couldn’t do the job. Blowhard finally convinces them and leaves. (Translation: he knew the problem, knew how to fix it, but it was a big job, on Saturday, and he just didn’t wanna. Ass.))

Now we’re waiting for the third of the home-warranty contracted plumbers to come out. In the meantime, things have kind of piled up. You know how it is, the first day the sink plugs up you just leave the dishes out; they can hold a couple of days. A couple of more days later you’ve got the same sitch with dirty, sopping wet towels used to mop up overflow. Finally, at the end of a week, you’re reaching critical overload of germ factories (at least, that’s what they look like to me... and they smell). Fortunately, me and Keen have enough camping background to revert to those methods when push comes to shove.

Ironically, hunching over a bucket of water for an hour to wash dishes helped with the kink in my back… which I got carrying buckets of dirt around the yard (different project). This is my life, people.

As long as I don’t end up peeing in a bucket, I’m good. 

  – the “work high tech/live low tech” weirdgirl

Update: ('Cause I know you're all gripped with suspense.) We got our plumbing problems fixed today!  Woo hoo!  And yeah, Plumber #2 was full of shit. Plumber #3 found the clean-out trap no problem and snaked it out to the street. THEN he called the city and had them finish up the job. Smart man.  I'll tell ya, nothing smells like success than coming home to the smell of sewage.  (Really, it was a good thing.)  Let the washing begin!

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