Not Sure He Meant It as Bad as It Sounded
Another Dream of Boredom

Psychological Fashion Crisis

Lately I’ve been feeling rebellion stirring deep in my soul.  It rears its ugly head at strange times, prodding me towards revolution.  It’s so ridiculous because it’s not as if I’m rebelling against some imposed new order.  I’ve actually been doing something similar to what I’m rebelling against all along (did that make sense?).  I even know I’m being a hypocrite about the whole thing.  But I still can’t quell the rebellion.  I’m talking about “mom clothes”. 

Previous to being a mom, I did not feel that some of the items in my closet were “mom clothes” but now… now they kind of feel that way (to me the fashion judas).  My day-to-day pre-baby clothing tended to be variations of wash and wear knit tops and jeans.  (OK, I do wear more heels than some.)  I was very comfortable in this attire, they felt good and they looked good.  Now I get hit with these strange rebellious streaks… some days I feel a strong urge to wear a satin bustier top for no particular reason.  Other days I feel a compelling drive to buy white sailor pants.  (Crazy woman!)  Suddenly my clothes, the clothes that I’ve HAD and loved, seem boring and practical.       

It started when I needed to go out and buy athletic shoes.  It hurt (a little), but I bought the shoes.  I also bought a pair of round-toed, lace-up, stacked pumps at the same time (oh, so CUTE!).  Then I noticed that the other moms were wearing track pants and hoodies, whereas I’ve been in jeans and sweaters.  Their choice of outfits made sense to me because we would all get hot on our walks (the whole two I’ve gone on) and you could strip off layers.  I started eyeing hoodies… but only the ones with skulls on them.  (Which, by the way, are not found in the usual places that you buy athletic clothing.  However, I blame the skull obsession fully on all the nouveau mod kids who are wearing stuff that looks just like the stuff I used to wear in high school and makes me wander into the rock clothing stores.  I can’t help I get nostalgic.)  The track pants… OK, I don’t think I’ll be able to wear those.  But see?  I’ve been making some mutinous purchasing decisions, because no matter how cute either of them are, I just don’t think the pink round-toed pumps and the black skull hoodie are going to go together.  (Because even with a studded belt to tie it in, black and pink are SO done.)

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.  Suddenly I’m too good for my own clothes?   I’m still wearing them, I still like them even, but in my heart of hearts I’ve been feeling fickle.  I’ve been sneaking peaks at the other garments out there, the “non-mom” garments (whatever those are).  I know this is purely psychological.  (And it’s not like I’m judging what the other moms are wearing, because some of them look damn cute.)  I think I’m at the point where I’m having a conflict between my “mom” role and my previous self-identity.  Only it’s a little late… and it involves clothing.  (I never said I was normal.)  Maybe this is coming up because on the few occasions I get to leave the house I like to look nice?  Maybe it’s because I just can’t wear suede without getting baby glop on it.  Maybe I’m just sick of winter.  I don’t know.  I just know I’m feeling antsy and disobedient and I don’t want to wear my mom clothes (previous sweat comment aside).

So how do I get through this period without wiping out my bank account?  And it will pass, won’t it?           - the weirdgirl

Comments

The Phoenix

Oh brother...

It sounds like you have some sort of fashion identity crisis.

Did you wear skulls before you became a mommy?

Kristen

I wrote about this (kind of) when we did the blog exchange over at mothergoosemouse's place.

The identity crisis is real - and it always manifests with clothes (and shoes). If I buy another pair of "trendy/vintage" sneakers, I think I'll have to throw myself out of a moving car.

the weirdgirl

Oh good, I'm glad to hear other people go through it too! (in one form or another) I was expecting a bit of a self-identity disconnect but I didn't expect it to show up through clothing. It's not like I defined myself solely through clothes in my previous life.

It always seems like the other moms feek very comfortable in their clothes and I'm just being rebellious, either skewing towards really dressy or kind of young. (And yeah, the last time I wore skulls was probably in school. Though just for the record, it was a cute hoodie.) In my heart I still feel like a disaffected poet fashionista - and fortunately, there's no dress code for that so I always felt free to wear whatever - but having to add in "mom" is a new experience. (Only a year late - why am I always off?)

P.S. The athletic shoes I bought are "vintage" too. High five, Kristen!

the weirdgirl

Uh... that was supposed to be "feel" not feek.

jw

Check out this fun video:
http://www.darlugo.com/?id=130&p=16

the weirdgirl

LOL! That video is hilarious. I loved the "you're not a woman anymore, you're a mom". Yep, that about sums it up.

Mary

Your baby is only a year old! You're not having this crisis late. I don't think mine hit till my oldest was ten.

How to be a mom and still a woman? It's all in the lingerie, baby. So what if you're wearing (my usual attire) jeans with a gaping hole in the right knee - always the right one - a man's thermal undershirt and an oversized denim shirt, tails hanging to mid-thigh... so what, if, under all that, you've got on a gorgeous little piece of something silk and lace and oh-so-sexy.

If it seems weird, the shleppy-comfy outerwear and silk underneath, well it's a pretty good expression of the tension of being a dutiful, giving, nurturing mommy, and a woman who's more than all that, isn't it?

Just don't wear yer bra on the outside - that's passe.

mo-wo

I let up on my bank account as soon as I found out I was pregnant again.. and would be out of the loop for two more seasons. Drat, I am a sweater girl again.

This comment should not in any way be interpreted as a recommendation to procreate as a remedy for excessive spending.

the weirdgirl

Mary, you'll be happy to hear that Keen supports your idea heartily! I'm betting he's flipping the Victoria's Secret catalog as we speak. (I'm just glad to know other women go through fashion crises and they can hit at any time.)

mo-wo, I think that's why I'm feeling this way now. I know in another year or two we'll be trying again and then I can throw new clothes out the window. sniff

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