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Swimwear Must Die 2013

Oh yeah, it's swimsuit time again!  For those of you just joining us, I feel compelled to make fun of the swimsuit industry every year - the photos, the styles, the posing.  I don't know what it is, but the mockery just bubbles up inside me until it has to come out.  Plus, some of these shots are silly.  (Or maybe it's just shopping for swimsuits make Hulk mad!)

You want more? Just click under the category Fashion Rules According to Me.

This looks like a brothel lineup from Game of Thrones.  Sports Illustrated didn't even bother to use real bikinis, just CGI'd those suckers.  I'm waiting for a direwolf or dragon to pop up.

2013 swimsuit Sports Illustrated

In Mother Russia the hats keep you warm but the swimsuits give you very interesting tan lines.

2013 swimsuit furry hat

Dude, I don't care how hard you partied the night before but when you get up in the morning you still need to put on your swimswuit, not your girlfriend's.

2013 swimsuit men

Side view, so you can really see the floral and the satin trim. What?

2013 swimsuit Logan_Taylor_Rufskin

Gingham and bonnets?!  Holly Hobby is all grown up!

2013 swumsuit Holly Hobby

One glove is back!  FINALLY!!  I don't know how I lived going to the beach without a glove.

2013 swimsuit one glove

These ones would be cool if the faces weren't so tortured. Like, do I want a drug-addicted morning-after teen on my swimsuit?

2013 swimsuit faces

This isn't even a swimsuit, it just made me laugh.

2013 swimsuit skiny-banner

No risk, no buns!  (But plenty of horns.)                        - wg

Comments

Ronnie

Why is just the one girl wet in the first photo? would none of her friends go in the water with her or were they worried their CGI bathing suits would electrocute them?

Nic

If those girls with their flat stomachs and toned thighs can't make those swim suits look good what chance to normal humans have? Wouldn't all those chains just got hot....or rusty?

liza

full begarati

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