Why talking it out can be better than blogging it out

This is probably not going to be a popular post. I always seem to be moving a little counter to popular opinion's clockwise.  I know that a lot of blogging proponents hold up things like getting your voice heard and supportive communities as big pluses for being online.  I've been a blogging a long time now and I remember there were big pushes for a while for everyone to be really open and post very personal, difficult things. And the people who did that were often praised for being brave and "opening the conversation" and all sorts of stuff.  I'm not saying those are bad things but the flip side is that some of those bloggers were ostracized by loved ones for airing private grievances, or they got a lot of negative attention online.  And frankly there were some bloggers who just dragged for drama in everything they wrote, from inflammatory posts to picking fights via twitter, and that shit gets kind of OLD. 

I've never really been one of these kind of bloggers. There are a lot of things I keep private because they're not my stories to tell. I will talk about my own shit but not about other peoples'.  If my shit impinges on other peoples' privacy I'm also not going to talk about it, unless I know they're OK with sharing it.  I'm open about SPD and special needs because I feel strongly that there needs to be more awareness about it and I'm happy to share my experiences for other people.

But there's another reason I find myself not blogging about some of the difficult things in my life... and it's because I've already talked through them. Last week some very close friends of ours lost their grandson to an accident. It was tragic and heart wrenching and really made that gut terror emerge that parents try to push down every day anyway. The last two weeks have been long and emotionally exhausting. But I have great friends and what I found was we could get together and talk about it and do what we could to help the family and each other get through it.

I'm not an immediate blogger. I don't run to my computer when I'm working things out. I kind of internalize them a bit, then talk to people, and then go to my computer and not necessarily to jump on the social networking circles about it, sometimes just to write something for me.  That's my process.  And sometimes by that point I'm all done.  I don't feel like I need to bring it up again just to post it.  Just to rehash and reopen.

I know that a lot of people have found a lot of value in the online world, because they can find a community that they might not have access to in the real world.  But there is something to be said for real life communication.  There is something to healing in real time.

Comments

[twobusy]

It may not surprise you to learn: I very much get this.

[Scott]

I agree. I post alot of personal material on my blog, but not nearly as much as I would in my private journal. Still, I find the anonymity of the blogosphere comforting. No one in my immediate family even knows I have a blog--and I keep it that way. And very few personal acquaintances know my blog's website. It's nice to have a place where I can "blog it out" with strangers. It's the same way in my everyday life, I always find talking to strangers easier than talking to acquaintances--especially family members. The reason is simple: the better people know you, the more they judge you. The old saying, "Familiarity breeds contempt," proves quite true in my life.

[the weirdgirl]

TwoBusy - Nope, I'm not surprised my friend.

Scott - I have days where I wish for a little of my old anonymity! But I still wouldn't give up talking in real life. I guess it's good to have a little of both.