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March 2012
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And that's how you lose stuffed animals

We've been sick all week.  The kiddo came down with it first, of course, with a really high fever that wouldn't come down, even with the advil/tylenol swap and baths and all that.  I took him to the weekend clinic and they kept us there four hours!  Conclusion: virus.  Then I followed suit and got sick Monday night.  At one point yesterday I woke up from a nap with a high fever and I was probably a little delirious but in my delirium I thought I was lucid enough to write and sent my ramblings to my editor at Culture Brats. They were a fucking trainwreck.  I'm sure he appreciated them. I don't think I've written anything for him in a couple of weeks, I've been trying to remember and I cannot remember so maybe I'm still running a fever. I don't know. At least I haven't started babbling on about LOLcats and noodles or anything because I am having some pretty weird dreams, let me tell you. 

But that's not the part that sucks. The part that sucks is that by the time I start to get sick, Chance is starting to feel a little better and he's bored and he obviously has no sympathy for his poor suffering mother who has diligently taken care of him while he's ill because when I decided that I just really needed to lie down on the couch he decided that was a good time to chuck pillow pets at me. Seriously?!   


Just enough time to bitch

The post I had written, the thoughtful one with a point, just got eaten.  This has been happening more frequently lately.  The ad network was pulled down without notice (and I never got paid out (hello, contract violation)).  The iphone app for typepad doesn't work at all anymore.  I am cheesed off because I pay for this service.  That's the whole point for paying, so I don't have to deal with shit like the program suddenly shutting down.

I honestly don't have the time to move it right now, though, but I may be migrating in the future.

I wonder if they monitor blog posts anymore? They used to back when it was the original, original owners. (I've lost track since then.) Do you think I'll get sabotaged at my hint of defection?  Or will my inbox be swamped by conciliatory helpful hints?  Could I stage a revolution from this blog?  Incite a tsunami of movement, change an assumption to a perception, start a trend and morph it into a mindset?  Inspire the heart wrenching score and the defiant bumper sticker?  Become the voice of something or other in the midst of a sea of other voices of something or other, pushing back the waves, hands desperately reaching... air, air! We need air!

Yeah, let's start some subversive shit.


Perpetuating the wrong expectations

Chance is trying to sucker me into buying him a Dream Lite.  It's a Pillow Pet where they've stuck a bunch of lights into its back. They must have had a surplus on that particular set of animals. Either that or those poor creatures tried to stage an uprising over the injustice of being used as pillows, were brutally repressed, and the electrodes were their punishment. Because let's face it, this company has a strange sense of what constitutes kindness to animals; it's either portraying them as only good as some sort of furniture or they're endorsing submitting animals to electric shock.

Since he is already unnaturally obsessed with Pillow Pets as well as Pokemon (which captures animals and puts them in highly questionable fighting arenas), I'm, of course, gently discouraging the idea that he will get a Dream Lite even if/when hell freezes over.

He has reverted to using the commercial's own slogans to further his campaign. As if I can't hear the TV in the room. "Did you hear that, Mom? It makes bed time FUN!"

"Bedtime is already fun, honey. Sleep is awesome!" He won't truly understand that one for another 30 years yet.

"You can use it as a nightlight! You don't want me to be afraid of the dark, right?"

"You already have a nightlight. In fact, I believe you have two."

"It'll give me a restful sleep!"

"Really? Is there Ambien in that animal?"

"What's Ambien?"

But the final nail in his beggar's coffin for ever, ever receiving a Dream Lite?  Chance walking up to the cat and trying to lie on him. Because wouldn't a live cat for a pillow be awesome?!

At least he hasn't yanked on his tail waiting for the lights to pop on.


Steps thataway

So.  (I know I start a lot of posts with "so". It's kind of my way of taking a deep breath. Or sometimes it's acknowledging that yes, I am going off on another crazy tangent. But then blogging is kind of all crazy tangents. With or without context. Hmmm) 

So. I know I've complained more than once about getting my shit in gear and wanting to "immerse more of my life in art" (which sounds really diva melodramatic now that I'm repeating it) and wanting to be A Writer and so on. However, to do that you kind of have to stop bitching and get your work out there.  I've never really used this space to talk about writing that much and/or showcase much I've written, except the funny stuff.  Well, every once in a while I put up a non-satirical poem but it's usually met with the resounding cry of crickets. *sniff* *so hurt*   But I also realize that those poems are kind of depressing or hard to understand and either way they are a big departure from what I usually write here so I get it.  Anyway, one of the things I've been doing lately is actually submitting work out.  (OK, so far it's only been two pieces but I have plans for more.)  The first one, I entered a local poetry contest that places poetry placards on buses. Yes! The six winning poets would have their words read by transients throughout the county!  Awesome.  I wasn't chosen but that wasn't the point... the point was that I entered.  I'm actually pretty psyched about that.

What's kind of cool is that even though I feel like my creative writing has slowed down a lot over the years, and I'm constantly berating myself about not doing enough, when I go back through it I still have a lot that I've written. So I'm making that effort; I'm trying to review, organize, read, and submit.  *deep breath DEEP breath*  

I'm not saying this blog is turning into a writing blog but you may hear my updates on rejection letters every so often.  I did get a note that my poem would appear on our local Poet Laureate blog that was running the contest sometime this month, so I'll post a link to that for sure.  And if anyone wants to see some creative writing here I'd oblige you.  Hopefully without too many crickets. Or comments that say "Chirp chirp" because I KNOW you people!  Damn smartasses!

But that would make me laugh.             - wg