Dear Christmas, please hold my attention more efffectively
Squeezing in a little dessert

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a Princess (yeah, she was fucking princess. Deal) who was all a twitter over the country's royal holiday.  To celebrate the Princess decided to bestow presents upon all her loved ones so she went to the coolest mall around.  There she found that valet parking was running a one day only free special.  Inside the mall the crowds were thin and the salespeople were totally friendly and unstressed.  The shelves overflowed with abundance and everywhere the eye could see were two-for-one deals and 50% or more everything-must-go discounts.  It was totally boss.  Not only that but the Princess was getting double points on her credit cards, which she immediately turned in for free Starbucks via a spanking new app on her phone which was also free and never froze.  (Not that she needed to, because Starbucks was giving away grande-sized samples of Peppermint Mochas.  Natch.)  Fortified, the Princess found all the gifts she desired and each and every one was perfect.  And there were no gagging of spoons, and everywhere the birds were singing, and all was pleasant and beautiful.  Except for the strange amount of people walking around sporting mullets.  Princess didn't know what was up with that shit. Then the Princess jumped into her awaiting Tbird and drove home to celebrate the holiday in warmth and comfort.  And then she woke up. 

The End.

Comments

Jeanne

I want to see this great story on a cute little picture book in a dark salon. Seriously, why haven't you published yet?

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