Preschool Director: "Well, that concludes the tour! Do you have any other questions about our lovely preschool?"
Mom: "Yes, can you tell me a little about your educational philosophy?
"Director: "Certainly! Here at Cheerful Name Preschool we believe all children have the potential for a bright future! Our founder - bless her soul, she passed just a year ago - opened this school based on key tenets to build a bridge to success. Therefore, we uniquely provide a nuturing and supportive environment for our children, carrying on her vision!"
Mom: "Oh, what are the key tenets?
Director: "Excuse me?"
Mom: "You said your philoshophy was built on key tenets?"
Director: "Er...yes, it's built on key tenets!"
Mom: "O-Kay... well, what makes your school different?"
Director: "Oh! Well, here at Cheerful Name we strongly believe that a cheerful name provides a cornerstone of positivity that is crucial to a child's development. For example, my name is Sunny and I've found I can get through many of life's rough patches by just taking a deep breath and saying my name..." (takes deep breath), "Sunny! A cheerful name just makes you feel good and we like to surround our children with that cheer. What's your daughter's name?"
Mom, quite proudly: "This is little Morticia. Say 'hi' Morticia!"
Morticia, "Hi, lady!"
Director: "OH! Oh, well... hmm, Morty... Tish... Ticia. Ticia is cute! We could work with that."
Mom: "Umm, what?"
Director: "Well, Morticia is a little... not dark, but cloudy, don't you think? And we do want to keep up that positive energy so they can reach all of their potential."
Mom: "My chief requirement is that you have a good kindergarten-readiness program. I don't see how changing my daughter's name is going to help her learn."
Director: "But it does! It does, you just have to give it a try! Our founder wouldn't have steered us wrong!"
Mom: "Your founder specifically said this school was based on cheerful names as an educational platform?"
Director: "Well, no, not specifically - you have to understand her passing was a little sudden - but that's where all the marketing literature was leaning... the importance of having a cheerful name."
Mom: "OK, well thank you for your time!"
Director: "Great meeting you! You can pick up an application at the front desk!"
Mom walks out past the front desk where the receptionist tries to hand her an application.
Mom: "No thank you."
Receptionist: "For what it's worth the teachers here are quite good."
Mom: "Really? And what's your name?"
Receptionist, sighing: "Diablo, but she makes me go by Dee-Dee."