On fires, catfights, and looking on the brighter side of life
Sew anyway

Swimwear Must Die '10

I'm late this year for the annual swimsuit wrap up, but better late than never.  However, I've got to tell you I am disappointed in this year's batch of designer swimsuits.  Really disappointed.  Swimsuits haven't been over the top, there have been no ridiculous embellishments, no poses with french poodles and feathers.  They have been tame, in traditional shapes and fabrics, even wearable... and that's no fun at all.

(Though it does make my prospects for finally finding a pair of 50s style full-cut bottoms a smidge more realistic.  Oh come on, with a halter?  You know that would be HOT!)

However, there are always a few that need mentioning.  Especially this disturbing trend...

Boys be warned!  Vaginas equal DEATH!  Oh, that winking boob might try to lure you in, but don't be fooled!  Clearly any fraternization with said vaginas may result in serious injury, as indicated by the oh so helpful warning label and skull.  

  Death bikini

This trend was obviously started by Ed Hardy's Swimsuits Love Kills Slowly line that showed up last year and continues today, despite the numerous unreported abuses that I'm sure occurred. Men, don't be afraid to come forward.  (How much more grief are you going to cause in the world, Ed Hardy?)

Hardy love kills
 slowly swimsuit

This one uses a hypnotherapy lure to suck you in. Or maybe vertigo.

  Hypno swimsuit

This one's a bikini!  No, an applique project!  No, a patriotic statement!  I'm so confused! VAGINA!

  Applique swimsuit
  
Honey, usually floss swimsuits are worn the other way. (poor girl)

    Maxim suspiro swimsuit

That headband there? That headband speaks volumes!

  Warrior princess swimsuit

But if you are going to chance the dangers and hook up anyway, try this one. She's got bandages.

  Bandage swimsuit

For more swimsuits, check out:

Juicy Must Die

Swimwear Must Die & Swimwear Must Die 2

Swimwear Must Die '08

Swimwear Must Die '09

(Yeah, I got a lot of time on my hands.)             - wg

Comments

Jess

Wow. Some of those are, uh...interesting. I'm a big fan of the floss one myself. I'm thinking it would divide up my postpartum belly flab nicely.

Kelly

Realistic being the perfect word WHO wears this stuff? lol

the weirdgirl

Jess - Yeah, I thought how nicely it would show off my stretch marks!

Kelly - I don't know, I've never seen one of these suits in real life anywhere. Maybe they're just imaginary, photo shopped pictures of suits because no one actually wears them.

Jessica

I look at them all and wonder why people have a problem with nudity in this country when all that JAZZ is acceptable. What's the point of wearing a swatch of fabric when yer junk is thrust up in everyone's stuff? Maybe I'm just getting old and set in my ways but blech. Thanks for the blog :)

Sabrina Moore

I love the swimsuit in the fourth picture! The style of the bikini fits my body type. I better get ready for summer and get fit with those revealing swimsuits. Thanks for posting this one! :D

new era hats

It is a very beautiful!

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