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October 2009
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December 2009

Go ahead, hate me...

I know I haven't been around much lately but get this... I am almost done with Christmas shopping!  With the trips I did this morning (such as stalking the Goodwill (relax, it was for craft supplies, I'm not really going to give out used undies as per Twitter (that rumor mongering whore))) I'm only a few items from complete shopping freedom. I'm a bit blown away!  I mean, it's only Monday and already this week Is. My. Bitch!  Yeah!

Of course, I don't have any of the cards, crafts, baking, pictures, or anything else done yet.  But I will!  I have vowed to be the conqueror of December!

(Now I'm sure the universe will retaliate.) 

On another monthly note, my NaNoWrMo attempt utterly failed.  I did not write ONE WORD.  I mean, there is today left so I suppose I could write, like the shortest novel ever.  Or maybe one of those made for TV movies where I can claim it was based on a novel before all the copies of the book were burned in a warehouse fire, which really was a shame because it was destined to be a bestseller but unfortunately can never be recovered since the author also befell a tragic fiery death because her ex, you know, was completely controlling and messed with her car brakes when she finally gained the strength to leave him for a writing career after years of mental anguish and being forced to eat cabbage, the ordeal of which her book, now TV movie, was all about.  Or maybe like a FOX sitcom pilot.

Let's see how far this giddy shopping high will take me.

             - wg

pink and orange all over

We are in the third week of illness here in the house of the weird. Chance still has a cold and just as he seemed to be getting better late last week he came down with... PINK EYE!




Then I got sick too.  I'd managed to mostly fight off this cold, until that last trip to the doctor's office where my body decided to lay down its arms and surrender.  Yellow-bellied piss ant...  Maybe it was all the people in masks, maybe it was that H1N1 shot Chance got, but my body ran scared.  Chicken shit.  The General is not pleased. 

Guess which part of my body I named the General?

Anyway, last week before getting all sicky and unmotivated I painted my office!  Orange!!  (what?)


Actually, it was more like I spent a week cleaning my office (because it was that bad, like, shhh, don't tell anyone, but I found piles of mail from when we moved in! (2007)) and then I spent a day painting it.  I had this funny post all lined up about how baby wipes are king, because, of course, I don't believe in taping, and how I also don't believe in packing things, I'd rather just paint around them in contortions better suited to a college coed and not a middle-aged mom, and how the cat kept trying to get in from the roof because he is totally nosy but... I forgot it.

Trust me, in my head, it was hilarious. From what I remember.


Y u thinkz stil haloween?

So anyway, we are here, we are sick. I am trying to catch up on laundry and dishes like any other sick parent, and I'd really like to pop out to pick up the second book of the Gideon Trilogy.  However, that means I am exposing more of our germs to the unsuspecting public.  What do you think?  Stay home or infect people?

          - the weirdgirl

she be a fair wench

I go to the dentist every six months like a good girl.  I brush my teeth with actual toothpaste.  Not so good on the flossing but whatev.  I do not gargle with caramel... although caramel-flavored toothpaste would ROCK!  I might bathe in caramel if it was possible.  You know, like if it was moisturizing.

I have a tooth that has turned black.  A lot of black.  I just discovered it, trying to floss (floss!) a piece of apple (healthy snack!) out of my teeth, a little hidden treasure of blackened beauty.  Not glinting majestically like the cursed gold of a pirate horde.  Not pearly white like a fair maiden's doubtfully pure necklace.

Can you guess I'm kind of freaked out?

There is no pain.  I was just at the dentist not so long ago.  That side has been sensitive to cold but they took x-rays and found nothing.

I'm feeling very Medieval right now.  But not in a hot "look what this corset does to my bosoms!" kind of way.  (Or is that Renaissance?  When were bosoms invented?)  More like I have scurvy.  Or I should start sucking at my toothless gums while I cackle dire predictions at young folks.

Of course, I had to show it to Keen.

Keen:  "Eww."
Me:  "Thanks.  So... could this be why I'm so tired?  I've had an infection all summer and didn't know it?"
Keen, man of root canals:  "Um... if you had an infection, trust me, you would have felt it."
Me:  "Even if my root has rotted out or something?" 
Keen:  "They can tell that from the x-rays."
Me:  "Oh."  Obviously my tooth knowledge is vast.

Avast matey!

So I'm going to the dentist today to check it out.  I'd say wish me luck but I'm pretty sure that little gem is lost.

Me:  "Give me a kiss, hon."
Keen:  "Um, no."

your title here

So I've never done this but this year I decided to participate in national novel writing month! I've always considered it a really good exercise but never seriously thought about doing it because I was always juggling too many things.  But this year my schedule is free and clear!  Except... I haven't officially signed up or done any actual writing.  whoops!  But I figure we're only a week in so I can crank out that novel in three weeks, right?  (I'm shooting for a short novel.  Maybe novella-esque.)  I have gone to a composting class and I've started to paint my office.

Ya gotta have the right environment, see? 

(And that apparently includes... um, compost.)
Oh yeah, and Saturday was our 11th wedding anniversary!  So... I went to a composting class and Keen went to a hockey game.  That sounds horrible but we did have a nice weekend just chillin at home.  Plus, we've kind of gotten to that point in our relationship where we're saving it up for the BIG anniversaries. Ya know?  For example, in February will be our 20th first date anniversary.  I know, right?!  We're fricking old!

I can never remember those anniversary year theme things, but I'm pretty sure 20 years is the Shoe Anniversary.  Honey, there are some really nice boots out right now.  Especially, nice gothy lace-ups or something with some hardware on it.  hint

OK, let's see... novel writing, compost, anniversary... wow, I really thought I had a point in there somewhere. Apologies.

          - wg

Slow and silent but for the clickety clack

We had a really nice Halloween, with people over, lots (and LOTS) of trick or treaters (there went my extra chocolate stash - I blame it on the balmy weather and Halloween being on a Saturday this year), and a general feeling of an unnecessary holiday well-played.  I hope yours was just as enjoyable.  However, we ended it all with a case of the sniffles, so Chance and I are sitting here, each on a laptop in our nerdy little household, he working his way through every single activity on PBSkids, NickJr, and Preschool Disney combined, and me with entirely too much time to look up lemon cookie recipes and cryptozoology.

Did you know that you don't need an actual degree to be a cryptozoologist?  I thought it was a specialized field at a few select universities. Some interdisciplinary study of paleontology, zoology, and ancient myths or something, but no.  ANYONE can say they're a cryptozoologist.  This is total legitimization for my monster hunting crew.   

And have I mentioned that I'm unemployed now?  I'm just saying.

As well as Chance and I being a little under the weather, my car is in the shop, and my damn computer is acting really, really slow.  So we are trapped here, see?  Trapped!  (Which is probably what you're thinking as your finger hovers over the back button.)  Hey look, pictures!

My son, Luke Skywalker, fending off attack by butterfly.


The ghost of a prairie woman that decided to inhabit our "graveyard" shortly after we put it up.  It must have reminded her of the good old days.  This particular ghost looks an awful lot like my mother.  I told you I'd call soon, Mom!

DSC04237 rotated

Another awesome cake.  Which I'm still munching through.  Um... anyone want to come get some cake?


And as a (mad)cap to the whole hectic weekend we got a commendation by our city for our house's Halloween decorations.  It was quite ceremoniously presented by being dropped off on our stoop (eyewitnesses report a black van racing off), and signed by our district's city councilman. 

Keen, Chance and I were all quite pleased by the honor.  Although I have no idea what to do with it now.  Frame it?  File it?  It would probably look quite nice in an album with this year's costume pictures... but we all know I'm scrapbook-challenged. 

Oh well.  I'll stick with my core competencies.  Off to make cookies!

             - the weirdgirl and her scary, snotty family