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January 2009
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Culture who?

About a week (or two) ago iVegas Dad gave me this award!  (Isn't he sweet?)  The award doesn't seem to have a name but it is supposed to honor bloggers who transmit cultural, literal, ethical, and personal values every day in their blog.  I think I'm pretty good about transmitting my ethical and personal values (I am pretty opinionated after all) buuuuuut... cultural values?  I suppose if you consider Bigfoot, zombies, and mutant platypi culture then... woo hoo!  I'm the sophisticated, refined girl for you!

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Now the rule is to award 15 other bloggers with the same award. (I think the best thing about this award is that it's forcing me to visit people that I've been thinking about but haven't had the time to visit lately. Bad blogger!)

Motherbumper

For A Different Kind of Girl

Woman on the Verge

Spinning Yellow

Lesbian Dad

Me and My Shadows

ShutterBitch

No Place Like It

Girl's Gone Child

You know... I just have to interrupt here for a moment... this is kind of a hard list because I don't know any bloggers who DON'T transmit their personal values every day.  Maybe those are just the type of blogs I like to read.  So, if you're not on this list, please don't be offended... I'll get to you at some point.  And if you ARE on this list and you've already gotten this award and you're totally sick of it... tough titties.  (Popular people are so high maintenance!)

CroutonBoy

Charlie Blockhead

CynicalDad

A Family Runs Through It

Child's Play x2

Adventure Dad

Pretty much any blog that Liz Henry writes.

Hey, speaking of culturally chic!  It seems I've been walking around all day with a hole in my pants! Yep, went to work and had a parent-teacher conference and everything.  The hole was way down underneath, right in the crack, so hopefully my big butt cheeks covered it up. 

I really don't want to think about it if they didn't.

CLASSY!!                - wg 


Eating Girl Scout cookies and frantically writing a post.

I've been having serious time management issues as of late.  Right this moment I've got 20 minutes to write and eat a snack before Chance is out of quiet time.  He's sick again, too (we're just trading illnesses here like baseball cards) and demanding a lot of attention, work keeps coming in, our activity calendar has been nuts, and my juggling skills need to be shipped off to circus school.

I'm starting to feel extra super duper lame!

Speaking of which, it turns out BlogHer '09 and my 20th high school reunion are the same weekend!  Not that either of those are lame I just think about high school and automatically a flash back montage of dork girl me and Liz Lemmon's "flap flap flap" goes through my mind.  (Except I wasn't mean. I think. Just weird.) There was actually a casual high school get together over the weekend at a Dave and Buster's - bastion of those in denial of aging! - which I stopped in at (fortified by my best wing girl, of course).  I probably knew about five people there.  We stood by the wall.  BUT no one threatened to "Carrie" me (or my girlfriend) so I figured that came out OK.

Anyway... conundrums people.  What would you do?  Blogging convention or high school reunion? 

Who's going to BlogHer, btw?

           - the weirdgirl


Lucky numbers... 14, 3, 26, 5

"Every day you don't blog makes it easier to put it off one day more."  That should be a Chinese proverb or something.  Except (obviously) updated for today's modern world.  There could be equally pithy sayings about YouTube and Facebook.  All folded carefully inside an ipod-shaped cookie.  Sure, the cookie might taste a bit stale, but you'll still eat it.  Because that too-hard cookie, shaped in technology, grounds you to reality for a brief moment in the crunchy sweet/blandness of the everyday.  And then you'll Tweet the experience and be joined by the rousing camaraderie of other eaters of dusty fate-filled cookies.

Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this either.  This cold is finally fading but I'm still hitting every evening (my usual "blog time") pretty wiped out.  I gotta start writing in the morning.

I bet I could totally sell these fortune cookies via catalog.   
                   - wg


Live blogging it

1:40pm
I have been sick all week.  I am still sick.  I thought I could be all cavalier and cowboyish and just push on through this "little cold".  It turns out... I am not a cowboy.

I've decided to live blog my illness, because I'm tired of not blogging and really, I'm only thinking in short chunks anyway.  I think that should be a term, "chunky thought".  As in, "she's a chunky thinker," or "her thinking is a little chunky right now."

Anyway, more soon.

2:10pm

So this one time our mailman's parked truck got sideswiped by some kid driving crazy. (BTW, crashes are loud.)  The kid drove off.  Of course.  And our mailman was all pissed and yelling when he came back to his truck, which he knew about immediately (because of the loud crash).  But... not that this has to do with anything with this particular incident, and I feel bad for him and all but... the truth is our mailman is not a very good driver.  You could kind of see it coming.

2:11 - 4:30 Nap

5:02pm

Madgirl Lovesong #8

When I think of you...

my mind becomes all newsprint...

black & white jumbled,

paper-mache layered and flat

like some stalker's discovered altar that you see on TV.

You know, on those forensics shows that get a little too gross.

I fear something has broken.

5:45pm

I've decided to write a book! (among the many titles that I've decided to write) but this one will be called The Book of Facetious Dribble.  It will be sort of my personal anthem.  And it will be full of dark humor, and rambling characters and maybe some sort of vague plot scattered amidst poems like the one above.  And illustrations!  It will have to have illustrations.  Probably bad ones, but still.  And it will be unfit for publication, so, of course, I will self-publish.  Because even those volumes unfit for publication are often fit for consumption (as the blog world has very well proven) and I'm sure there are plenty of people who will understand that a mock-serious poem about insanity and forensics is funny.  And further, they will also enjoy my scribblings about cats.  That was sarcastic.  Sort of.  I will still write about cats though.  But probably only the literary people will get the smartass cat poems. 

I'm totally psyched to write this!

7:21pm

No, it's not cold drugs. I really do have random thoughts like this all day.  Normally.

BTW, I am totally annoyed that I haven't gotten to the latest round of improv posts, because I have come up with a completely cool way to kill off my boss.

7:30pm

I just checked on my chocolates ('cause you have to do that) because Keen and I celebrated Valentine's Day/our first date anniversary early and he gave me chocolate and I just checked and... he has TOTALLY BEEN MACKING ON MY CHOCOLATES!  Dude.  I've had two. 

Rest assured, I have not touched the fancy cooking pot I gave him AT ALL!

8:18pm

Author Interview (for when The Book of Facetious Dribble becomes an underground hit (due partly to my diligent schlepping of it out of the trunk of my car)).

INTERVIEWER:  So, about your book... some say the "mad" series of poems, though darkly evocative and sometimes unbelievably fanciful, are based on actual experience... is this true?

ME:  Pretty true.

INTERVIEWER:  All true?

ME:  Pretty all true.

INTERVIEWER:  Are you sure?

ME:  To the best of my recollection.

blink... blink blink

INTERVIEWER:  What's with all the red and white stripes?

10:30pm

Beeeeeeed! (said in zombie voice)


The real conspiracy

My damn modem went down last Thursday.  Actually, I could tell it was about to go down - because, you know, it would work but I had to reset it about a million times a day, (started with that rain, btw), it kept dropping connections, it was an older machine, blah blah blah - so I was proactive and bought a new modem.

That new modem, apparently, had software unlike any other modem AT&T dealt with.  I found this out after a call to help support and a technician came out to the house.  Also despite the fact that it was a brand recommended and used by AT&T, and in fact had the words AT&T all over the box.  (Somebody in marketing/product training totally dropped the ball. (Motorola))

Oh yeah, and my laptop's power adapter is going out.

I really have just not been having good tech karma lately.  I don't know what it is.  I'm good to my machines; I don't curse at them or dribble coffee on them or anything.  I clean off all the sticky fingerprints that *ahem* other people leave. 

I personally suspect that all the tech companies' super secret planned obsolescence is kicking in at the same time for every component we own.  (And don't say that companies don't design in obsolescence because I know they do. Which... hello!... is not very environmental!)  I wonder if they have secret meetings at conferences to plan out that sort of thing?  Probably planned years in advance, because you just know they also have super secret market forecasting way beyond the rest of us.  I can just see all the tech bigwigs in a clandestine press room at CES '98... "All right now, lets plan the next major shut down. I propose November 08 - February 09.  That's supposed to be a lousy holiday season anyway so let's give the industry a boost.  All in favor?"

But I'm not bitter.        - wg

P.S. Either that or my boss jinxed me with his connection problems.  Dude.