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June 2008

I've missed the memes

I was tagged by Summer with a meme!  I’ve noticed that not nearly as many memes circulate as they used to, but I still think they’re fun every once in a while.  Great for the end of the week especially.  This is a nice short one.

5 Things About Me

  1. Even though I’m half Hispanic I am very fair (it’s the Irish side).  I LOVE to sport a light tan in the summer (real or not) but every time I sit out in the sun I secretly worry that for every oh-so-light shade of tan I build I’m also creating another grey hair somewhere on my body.  There’s only so much melanin to go around.
  2. I am a tea junkie.
  3. I totally believe in ghosts.  (discuss)
  4. Every time I fill out a survey or form that asks for “highest level of education completed” I feel bad about not finishing my MA.  The rest of the time I feel fine about it.
  5. I’m a sucker for small pretty things, such as marbles, shells, and rocks.  I think this also partly explains why I make jewelry even though I don’t wear it a lot.

I now tag Andrea, Hannah, Lori (to get back in your blogging groove), Jason, and Jennifer to continue the fine meme tradition.  Have go!            - wg

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Rethinking the Role Model

Chance has been on a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse kick and the more I watch the show the more I realize that there is something really odd going on up in that big-eared house.  Daisy seems to be at the clubhouse quite a bit.  In fact, Mickey just seems to be hanging out with Minnie and Daisy a lot.  Like have you noticed that whenever the gang needs to split up for whatever wacky adventure they’re on Mickey always gets paired with the chicks?  Daisy is always right there batting her eyelashes, wiggling her tail feathers, and being all demanding. 

And, even more telling, Minnie seems to have no problem with it! Minnie_daisy

So you can see where I’m going with this, right?  I think Mickey is getting to use his meeska mooska mousekatool twice as often as he used to.  

But do I think Mickey is a sly philanderer using his fancy, fully-automated home (obvious wealth there) as a way to lure young ladies into his sugar daddy clutches?  No.  I think there’s another cause.

Let’s look at the facts…

Somehow, over the years, Donald has turned from an angry abuser (not the finest catch but some chicks go for that) into a complete idiot.  I mean, he’s gotten really dingy.  You know when toddlers are telling him the answers he’s having problems.

Goofy is… well… Goofy.  Not the most handsome guy around and he obviously can’t afford dental work.  Plus, he spends a lot of time with animals.  (Not that I’m implying any tendencies with that zoo of his.)

Pete is a greedy, money-pinching bastard.  And we all know Daisy is high maintenance. 

So there you go.  The bachelor pool at the old clubhouse is mighty slim.  This is how I figure it went down... Daisy has had a few too many fast-talking, “heart-to-hearts” with Minnie about relationship problems over the years and they finally came up with an “understanding”.  (Because let’s face it, Minnie is a follower.  And she aint as innocent as she pretends, either.)  After that, those coy Disney girls approached Mickey.

And how do you think Mickey reacted?

Mickeymouse  

He’s no idiot.

             
- wg


Cra-lazy

I have been extra lazy of late.  Well, punctuated with busyness which I think leads to the lazy.  Wednesday had a crazy schedule!  Thursday, lazy.  Friday should have been half crazy, half lazy (cra-lazy) but then we had a surprise craziness in the later half (suprazy).  Yesterday was forecasted lazy but ended up with unexpected my-butt-hurts crazy (and no it wasn’t from sex) but more on that in a minute.  Case in point of the crazy busyness… I started writing this post a few days ago. (Blogher Ads is probably so hating me right now.)  During the lazy bits I’ve just been, well, sleeping. 

Today is just social crazy, which is cool because at least you get to eat a lot.  So since my mind is a little fried (and my butt hurts) how about some weekly news highlights?

Highlight of the week - no lice in sight!  Woo hoo!

On Friday I rescued a baby crow.  (That was the suprazy.)  Though “rescued” is a relative term since it really was just hanging out minding its own business before I swooped in like a demented wildlife Florence Nightingale.  It had been hanging out in front of our house for a couple of hours without any other crows in sight.  Apparently, crow parents are really attentive and would probably come back for it eventually… if they knew were it was.  Sometimes the nestlings can get lost if they’re just learning to fly.  (I learned all this on the phone with the wildlife society people, btw.  I am not a crow expert.)  I was worried the cats in the neighborhood would get it first and it was getting cold out.  So I scooped him (her?) up and took it to the wildlife center.  It was all sort of funny because I have one of those weird karmas where I tend to find hurt or lost animals – and I don’t mean I go looking for them… they’re always right outside my house or workplace – and I was just thinking it had been a long time since I’d had to save anything.  So there you go.  Be careful what you wish think about.

I put together some Earthboxes on Saturday.  Have you heard of these things?  They’re supposed to increase your vegetable yield and make gardening “easy”.  What a pain in the ass to put together!  Literally.  This is why my butt hurts.  I spent, like, two hours bent over (straight legs, bent at the waist) prepping these things for my vegetables.  In theory, filling a planter shouldn’t be that big a deal, but they had all this “pack in moist soil” here, here, and here,  “mix soil with dolomite for top 2-3 inches”, “build mound and trench with moist soil for fertilizer strip”.   I mean, shit.  My basic planting philosophy is this: have dirt, will grow.  And most of the time the plants grow!  I just don’t usually do that much high tech mixing of chemicals.  (Who am I, my dad?)  Anyways, I thought I’d check these boxes out.  I better get a lot of tomatoes.  (grumble grumble)

We got all the fertility results back.  Actually, got them a while ago.  My hormones are all normal and Keen has a ridiculously high sperm count.  (Yeah, he’s pretty pleased with himself.)  However, we are taking a break from baby making.  Between getting sick and the platelet thing and everything else going on, I figure it would be better to wait a month or two until everything calms down. Plus I just didn’t need the “wait ifs” in the back of my head, you know?  (Watch this is the month I get accidentally knocked up… while swimming in fertilizer and touching germ-ridden birds.)

That’s it for now.  This week I’ll work on less lazy (and let’s hope for less crazy).

           - the weirdgirl

 

P.S. SO happy David Cook won.  It’s not that I don’t like Archuleta or think he isn’t an amazing talent… but the 16-year-old earnestness was wearing on me. 


Nit-Picking

I found out this morning that my son’s class has… HEAD LICE!  Duh duh DAH!

Yech.

I’m not freaking out or anything but it is gross… a uniquely adult reaction, I think.  When you’re a kid you’re all, “There are bugs in my hair?  Really?  Are they cool-looking?  OK, I’m gonna go play now.”

Remember having head lice?  I do.  It didn’t freak me out, it just was what it was.  Use the shampoo and move on.  But I do remember getting pissed after the fact because this girl – who gave me head lice, by the way, after I spent the night at her house – told everyone that I gave them to her.  I clearly remember her sitting in the car and her mother pulling a louse out of her hair.  My lice didn’t show up until a day or two later.  BUT she went out of her way to tell all these people that I gave her head lice.  Clearly, she had issues with her perceived popularity.  Buggy bitch poopy head.  (Don't you hate it when that snappy comeback comes to you way too late?)

If she had been really smart she would just have used the shampoo and kept her mouth shut.  It’s not like any of us kids were overrun with the little buggers.  (And most of us, whether blasé about it or not, had the sense not to announce our lice.)

What’s your head lice story?  Is there anyone out there who has not had lice?

And can you imagine being a teacher and having to be exposed to this crap every few years?

Yech.           - wg



Everything I Am Not

Let me just say, first of all and for the record, I am not “sickly”. I’ve heard myself described that way once or twice and it’s always driven me nuts.  Or at least it drove me nuts once I got over being flabbergasted.  People who are sickly have serious ongoing conditions with multiple complications. They are people who have “compromised immune systems”, who always develop pneumonia… on top of a blood disorder or rare genetic condition, who have to monitor themselves and take a lot of medications all the time.  Those poor folks are sickly.  They are not just catching whatever round of viruses the season has cooked up. 

Someone even once told me I was sickly because I was “cold all the time”.  ?!?  Really?  As opposed to being hot all the time? Is that the definition of health?  (By the way, I was cold a lot until they put me on thyroid pills (my one true “condition”) and now, damn it, I have to suffer the summer heat along with everybody else. Thanks.)

I do not have a compromised immune system.  What does happen, though, is every once in a while my immune system just seems to get really low (usually from stress) and then I catch everything for a period of time.  (Usually until I figure out to stop pushing it and actually rest.)  This happened the first time when I was 19 and got mono really bad, as well as cat scratch fever on top of it.  (Let me tell you, cat scratch fever sucks big donkey balls.)  In fact my doctor thought I was having a mono flare up when I went in to see her. She always does a full blood work up on me. She’s thorough like that. And considering that she herself had brain tumors a few years ago… who can blame her?  (P.S. She thinks I’m really healthy but that I should take yoga.  Long story.)

Anyway, every few years this happens and it seems like I am in one of those bouts. I also know that stress with me always comes out physically.  I can feel emotionally together but if there’s enough stressful activity going on eventually I’ll feel it in my body somewhere. (And yeah, that does suck.)

Plus, I’ve noticed those poor schmucks who brag that they’re “healthy as a horse” and don’t catch “so much as a cold”… those are the ones, eventually, who get really knocked on their ass by a virus.

I’m just saying.

On a slightly related note, earlier this week I noticed my pants were all loose so I jumped on the scale… and I’m down to my pre-pregnancy weight!  Can you believe that shit?!  Basically, three viruses in a row have accomplished what I have not in three years. (Not that I was really trying. People to see, brownies to eat and all that.)  

Of course, I had to take inventory in the mirror. Stretch marks… still there but faded without the fat pooching them up. Jiggle butt… OK, still jiggly but not as much! And look at those thighs!  I could not believe it… so I did the normal thing and grabbed bronzer (and yes, that is normal. Tanned skin is the miracle that magically camouflages all those lingering stretch marks and cottage spots. Or at least makes them look golden and happy). And, shaky and still slightly feverish, I smeared that shit all over myself.  Until… behold!… in the mirror I am once again… a bronze pre-partum goddess!! 

As fleeting as that is. 

Because really, how long can it last? And do I really want it to?

Because I must admit the boobage is sadly deflated. I like having boobs.  And now items in my current wardrobe – the cute wardrobe I built so carefully after the baby – aren’t fitting. 

So sad… you know you’re really a mom when you look at yourself in the mirror and think, “You’re too skinny! Eat something!”   

- the weirdgirl


I am not slacking

I am sick again.  This is the third time in five weeks.  They think it's another viral infection but my blood platelets are low so I'm supposed to be resting a lot.  Which is fine because all I feel like doing is sleep.  Sort of like mono all over again, but with more headaches (and not quite so exhausted).

I would be so frustrated right now if I could work up the energy.

On another note I just learned that I am a finalist for Best Mommy Blog in The Best of Blog Awards.  If anyone would like to go vote for me I'd be much obliged.   Click here to vote and check out the site.

Thanks           - wg


Solo Flying

Me and the kiddo are flying solo. (Mucho respect to all the single parents out there.) Keen has been in Vegas for training since Tuesday. I know it’s pretty boring for him but it’s still Vegas. Business trips in fun places definitely have their perks.   

We really need to plan out a family vacation. (And maybe, just maybe, a night away for me and Keen.)

Did you know that the first thing my OB asked when I went in for fertility questions was, “Can you go on vacation soon?” It’s the whole “relaxed people get knocked up” technique.

I’ve been working hard at trying to reduce stress in my life overall. But the fact is since Chance was red-flagged at school I’ve been anxious.  Not all the time but basically every time I dive into research or start reading through all the government articles or have to make another phone call to another organization. A lot of people have been very nice. Some people have also given me the brush off.  And I just feel that deep-down, knee-jerk parental reaction of “leave my kid alone”. While wanting help, of course. (Just help without judgment ever touching my child’s awareness.)

I’m going to have to fight for everything. Chance is not developmentally slow so assessments are not automatic, but requested. And damn, if these organizations aren’t good at pointing you to the other organization. It’s hard to stay relaxed when you feel the fight in front of you.

(Absurdly, I can stay cheerful. Or maybe it’s just mania.)

So any tips for a quiet Mother’s Day?        - wg


Ah, and it has that clean citrus smell too!

I heart the Internet. The crazy entertainment/education/inspiration value is unbelievable. So two things I seem to be researching a lot lately are resources for my son and research on fertility.  Well, I stumble across a site listing “herbal contraceptives” and, even though this is the opposite of what I’m trying to achieve, I check it out just in case there's some supplement somewhere somehow I’m not supposed to be scarfing down.

Scanning through the list I was confidant early… “Wild Yam… nope! I buy mine at the store… Smartweed Seeds, no… Neem Oil... what the heck is Neem Oil?... Apricot Kernels… who in god’s name would eat apricot kernels?” and so on.

Then I hit Vitamin C.

Holy crap! I’m not supposed to be taking Vitamin C?! That wasn’t in any of the baby books! WTF?!

Digging deeper (you know, after I could breathe again) it turns out that, yes, there are two ways you can use Vitamin C to prevent conception. The first method recommended placing two vitamin C tablets up your hoo-hoo, either before intercourse or as an emergency measure after a condom breaks.  The idea is you raise the acidity level of your vag so that the sperm can’t survive.

The second method involves eating large amounts of vitamin C because the ascorbic acid can interfere with progesterone production (which, you know, pregnancy needs). This one freaked me out because, yes, I do take vitamin C! Fricking winter just ended! Colds are everywhere!

So… you know how most vitamin C chewables (I like chewables) are usually 500 mg? The recommended dosage for the internal contraceptive method is anywhere between 6 to 15 grams. That’s 6000 to 15000 mg!  (Yeah, I had to look up the math. What?)

This is the part that killed me… for both of these methods side effects listed included “irritation”. Ya think?! I mean, I took too many cranberry pills for a bladder infection once and gave myself stomach cramps… I can’t imagine taking 6-15 grams of vitamin C.  And nothing screams sexy like canoodling in an acid bath!

Now I might be a bit biased (not being into the hippie, uber-naturalist scene (OR that desperately horny)) but if I needed some birth control and it came down to

a condom (reduced sensitivity) VS. ascorbic acid (burning vagina)

I think I’m sticking with condoms.

But that’s just me.

      – the weirdgirl

*No horny hippies were harmed during this research.