Murphy’s Capriciousness
The TV Burned Out My Eyes

A Long Bloody Rant

First I must premise this post by relaying some background on the house I grew up in.  I grew up in a household where adventurous eating was often practiced.  My parents were experimental in sampling any number of unusual cuisine, plus my dad grew up in Panama so he had been exposed to non-mainstream-America-foodstuffs.  Things that many Americans, especially those that don’t live in California, would find disgusting.  I’ve personally eaten chocolate-covered bees and ants (the ants were bitter).  Dried octopus, yummy.  My dad frequently prepared fish with the head intact (I’ve found a lot of people get really freaked out by this).  Not only would the fish be staring at us the entire meal, then about halfway through my dad would typically take a fork, gouge out an eye and eat it.  He said they were good.  Therefore, I don’t normally get grossed out by the things people eat. (I mean, it was several seasons into Fear Factor before they started downing shit that grossed me out.  And btw, eating live African cave spiders is just bad karma!) 

I am now officially grossed out.

Thanks to Girls Gone Child I have just now learned about the practice of placenta-eating.  I had never heard of this before, but since reading her post I can’t get it out of my mind!!  GGC wrote a nice, non-judgmental, but funny post about this practice.  I’m not going to manage that.  Because I AM GROSSED OUT!  If anyone would like to eat their placenta I say, you go for it.  However, I will not be partaking, thanks.  To me it seems awfully close to licking your period (tampon, anyone?).  And I’m having a hard time understanding the nutritional value of chowing placenta.  I can understand the spiritual significance, it nourished and sustained your baby; apparently many people take their placentas home and bury them as a point of honor and there are other placental ceremonies that people practice.  BUT!  I don’t get the eating.  First of all, you would just be eating your own blood and mucus (that doesn’t sound so appetizing now, does it?).  OK, it might be full of vitamins (?) (actually, I don’t really know that’s just what I read on the internet; to be honest I’ve only done a little research (because it’s freaking me out) so I’m speculating here) but aren’t they the vitamins that are already in your body?  The ones you got from prenatal vitamins or One-A-Days?  I don’t normally gnaw on my own arm when I’m feeling a bit of malaise.  The only thing I can imagine might be additional would be that it was hormone-laden blood and mucus.  However, I just got rid of my pregnancy hormones and I don’t want them back yet. 

Having been the child of hippies* I can sorta, kinda (OK, not really) understand where this en vogue practice might have come from.  There is a lot of back-to-nature philosophies around childbirth that stress that the way animals give birth and the way women (being also animals) gave birth for thousands of years is, perhaps, the way we are truly meant to give birth.  I.e. natural, no pain medication, no hospitals, etc. – the ideas range from mild to extreme.  I’m sure one of these philosophies evolved into the eating your placenta because animals do it, too.  Regardless of the fact that animals do it so predators can’t track them down by the scent of the birthing blood.  I’m pretty sure people haven’t had to worry about predators for a very long time or anyone who owns a butcher shop would be in trouble.   

Quite honestly, and remember speaking from the role of hippie-offspring, I get a little tired of the “if it came from nature it must be good” mentality.  I get a little tired of seeing “All Natural” plastered all over whatever foodstuff is being pushed at the moment.  And I get really tired of people telling me, “Well it’s good for you, it’s all natural.”  You know what?  EVERYTHING is natural!  We have not yet mastered the technology to whip brand new shit out of the frickin’ air.  We have no replicators; we cannot make compounds, chemicals, or elements that do not exist from something already existing in nature.  We just can’t do it.  What they really mean nowadays when they say “natural” is “not processed”.  That is a big difference, and I’m not sure that the America public always understands this difference.  Because guess what?  Arsenic is also “all natural” and I don’t know anyone who is sprinkling it on their granola.  Or on their prepared placenta either.           – the weirdgirl

*And by the way, I may live in Northern California, you know, home of the fruits and nuts, but no one in the entire process of my birth ever asked me if I wanted to eat my placenta.  I have to go ask my hippie mom now if she ever heard of this ‘cause is she hasn’t I bet it’s gonna gross her out.

Comments

knq

LMAO. Enough said.

fuzz

I read an article on this years ago, which emphasized the vegan approach to placenta eating. The article stated that it was the one meat allowable as it was meat that was not killed.

In the article it also mentioned placenta eating parties thrown after the birth of a child, where all the guests were given an appitizer made from the placenta. What would you wear to a placenta eating party? I would opt for a tie dyed tee because that is what the placenta looked like to me.

mrsfortune

I'm with you, it's one of the MOST disgusting things I've ever heard of.

Have you ever read the book Kitchen Confidential ... it's by this chef guy (who now has his own show on the travel channel) and he goes to Japan and they practice this sort of extreme eating ... but I doubt there was ever any placenta (human or otherwise) involved.

And I wonder what PETA would have to say about the whole thing ...

Jennifer

Hi, I just found your blog. Interesting subject. I think this is just gross. I totally agree with you on everything being "all natural". Nobody thinks about that. I couldn't care less if something is labeled "all natural", "organic", or any of the other special labels. I figure, you can't really get around not eating anything that is processed. So, I say; screw it. I am just going to enjoy what I can.

Chris

Eating any spiders, hell, being in the same room with spiders is officially wrong. I have a teensy bit of a phobia. Just a smidge.

The Phoenix

In grade school, a gerbil gave birth and ate her own placenta afterwards.

That was so nasty. I can't imagine humans doing that.

AdventureDad

Sorry I haven't stopped by in so long but I'm on a five week vacation. This placenta eating sounds wayyyyy beyond disgusting. It makes me think of Hannibal instantly. And your comment about licking your period has officially stopped all sex in the AD household during 2006. No big deal since we haven't had sex for month's because of my wife's pregnancy issues with number two but I was hoping to have sex again before I die.

Ad out of Baja California

GIRLS GONE CHILD

Hee, hee. I'm sorry I had to fill your mind with visions of bloodied-vein-sacks being prepared a la carte.

knq

Now that I think of it - it's kind of like something you would see on Maternity Fear Factor.

Enter Joe Rogan:

Today, ladies, each of you will have 30 seconds to blend, suck, and swallow your own placenta.

jw

OK, now I can go to bed confident that I've read the last blog that I am going to read today. Yuck!

the weirdgirl

Sorry to everyone for the gross out (whether it turned you off sex or blog reading I do apologize). I somehow felt the need to share.

And thank you for comments that made me laugh and, sometimes, made me feel even more grossed out. I got a few more visuals here that I didn't have before -gerbils, tye-dyed t-shirts, blenders - things will never be placenta-free again.

misfithausfrau

When I read GGC's post this weekend, I clicked off of her site quickly, as if that would get rid of the visual of someone having a placenta buffet. Not so much. You raised the visual to a whole other level with the whole "licking your period" analogy. Well done!

I'm with you. I tend to be a live and let live kind of a person, but I am completely skeeved by the whole placenta ingesting thing and the whole philosophy of it being "natural and good for you." I wrote recently about a beetle that is ground up and made into a "natural" coloring agent for some foods and beverages. Sure, it's natural. So are turds. Doesn't mean I want to eat them.

Jade

So what do you wash it down with? A fresh-brewed milkshake? Ugh!

stella

holy shitballs. those spiders were gnarly. EWWWWWW!

i am totally forwarding this to my friend julia. she'll appreciate this post.

i don't think i would have ever wanted to come over for dinner at your house.

nothing personal. of course.

;-)

if its not KRAFT, i really don't know what to do with it..

and this post makes me think of the whole penis foreskin FACIAL CREAM? WTF???

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